"I'm bored"

[RingRoad]

Wanted to get some thoughts on this.

DSC is 10 and here EOW and once during week. All is well.

Weekends with DSC will be a mix of things - some treats like cinema, bowling and/or eating out etc etc and some fresh air/sport with inevitably some dull practical weekend things like housework, fixing things (us) and homework, music practice (DSC).

A few years ago, DH was way too Disney and spent all weekend laying on treats. DSC told mum this was too much and more chilling out time was needed and things calmed down and seemed to be balanced.

DSC mum has just been in touch out of the blue today to say DSC has called her and is bored so can we lay on some treats.

WWYD?

ignore her!

kids need to see that dad's house is just the same as mum's in terms of the balance of dull stuff like food shopping and treats! can only imagine her response if it was all treats

I think they are both parents and need to have a conversation together, possibly including the dsc, about the mixture of fun/life at the weekends.

And yes, tough! The point of boredom is to teach us how to find stuff to amuse ourselves, so the dsc can come up with some ideas too, at 10yo.

They need to talk. We can't tell on here whether the mum is trying to help out or being demanding. It could be either.

I'm not bothered about the ex getting involved as she does not do it usually on things like this. I guess it's more feeling sad that DSC feels this way and also that it could have been discussed with Dad, rather than a call to Mum.

FWIW, DSC has own room with tons of books and toys plus a games room with TV, DVDs, an Xbox, PS and Wii. We do all spend time together -games, films, going out, hanging out and DSC spends a lot of time one to one with DH. We are not perfect but I feel a bit taken aback that DSC finds it so dull.

I think a lot of it the age he is? My DSC has became much more demanding around the age of 9/10 (and still is at 12) -- much more needing constant interaction and input from the adults, none of own interests, very upset if left out of an adult convo etc. It's almost like however much you pour in it is never enough at that age. Sorry not very helpful but I think it's an interim phase between little kid-like playing and absorption and teenage self-obsession. They become very alert to everything going on around them and are too anxious to tune out.

That's interesting, rose. Makes sense and reassures me that we are not completely hopeless....

Oh I see - you think she is trying to help, you aren't cross with her.

Try not to take it to heart too much - kids do moan sometimes. We can only do our best, and you clearly are !

I'd tell her what we do in our time is our business

That's not really working together for the kids though, is it.

My children frequnetly say they are bored on a weekend when it rains, they can not go out etc.

Would not take this personally - just being a normal child

Is he an only child? My DD got a bit fed up without regular visits from/to friends from about that age.

Boredom is easily cured... just give them a few chores to do. After all, resident children would typically spend a part of their weekend tidying / cleaning their rooms, doing homework, etc, and I assume you don't have time to just 'play' all weekend to keep your SS entertained? Ask them to give you a hand with something instead...

My DS is coming up to 9 yrs and I often hear the 'I'm bored' refrain, I think it's fairly common (his 6 yr old sister is much more happy to make her own entertainment).

I try and make sure that weekends are a mix of fun stuff and chores, but the chores still need to get done.

Most kids come out with the 'I'm bored' speech, no matter what treats are laid on. I believe kids need to learn that life isn't one big treat fest and have to learn to amuse themselves. I always reply welcome to the real world. Tell her to butt out. If he gets his own way all the time he will grow up to be an entitled brat!

Ask mum if sc is ever bored round her house and what she does to solve the problem. That'll decide if she's trying to help or being a knob.

I think I was bored from the age of 9-15

I came into DSC's lives when the were late teens, (as were my DC) so never had the whole access thing, but from all the posts I read about EW and EOW access, I wonder how you all cope! If I thought I had to 'entertain' someone else's children every weekend (or even every other) I would not be happy!! When do you have time for each other/free time, especially if you're both working? I fully appreciate kids need to spend time with NR parent and the EXW/H needs child free time, but the logistics of it must be exhausting! I had a few short relationships with dads of younger children before meeting my now DH, but always ended it when forced to choose between spending weekends doing kiddie friendly stuff....or on my tod!