why does she hate me?

[operaha]

my kids step mum.
she goes to great lengths to inform my youngest that I don't care about certain things which isn't true.
I'm a cover supervisor in a school. When my

whoops.
Yes so that is my job. she tells my youngest son that it isn't, that I'm a teaching assistant. I am not. He says no she's not and is told I'm making up my job?! I'm really proud of how far I've come from leaving school with a few gcses and getting to here - not a fully qualified teacher yet granted but I'm on my way!

she told him that I didn't care enough to go to his reading afternoon - so not true, breaks my heart not going but given my job, I just can't. my mum went which was a good alternative.

she told him it was my fault when his trainers got nicked from swimming. I'd gone to great lengths to make him understand the "wrong" person was the thief.

It's just odd. My ex and I have been split a long time and they've been married a few years... I pride myself on being the best parent I can and it really upsets my son when she does this.
I've mentioned it to ex h but he sticks up for her obviously which I understand - it's just my son I feel for, it really upsets him! He's only 9 .

I think your son is old enough for a somewhat frank conversation with you. Tell him that all the adults in his life him very much but that you and his step mum don't always see eye to eye. That sometimes messages get confused. That you don't want him to be piggy in the middle.

That you are his mum, always have been and always will be.

It is hurtful. The only thing you can really do is not react. He knows exactly what's going on and what a good mum you are. She's daft as one day he will see these comments for what they are and dislike her which is a shame and unnecessary.
She sounds very insecure which is common.
Just say something like "that's okay, me and step mum don't have to agree, it's no big deal" and change the subject.

That's is terrible what a spiteful cow. I'm a step mum and Tbh I dislike dsd mother she caused a lot of trouble at start she wanted me dh ( it was a one night stand dh can't remember and she was sober she drove her sister to the party so in my opinion if it was a man slept with an intoxicated woman he would be accused of rape??) She doesn't bath child or feed her proper food it's pizzas and McDonald's And teaches her to say daddy asshole and I'm a bitch when she was 1.I met dh when baby was couple months.. but never would a speak Ill of her to her child you just don't do it and you have to give the mum her place.
if I were you I would ask for a meeting an discuss how it makes u feel and your ds she seems jealous of you that you are dss mother and she is not

She obviously has some issues. The important issue here is yours and your sons relationship, as long as you two understand each other that is what matters. Just ignore her. Kids are fairly astute, they know what is going on. Just keep close to your son.

Ugh, I've had DSD ask me if I like her mum, I said yes, of course I do. She then said "well my mum doesn't like you and she doesn't like ds (dsd's baby half brother).

DSS's mother said to DSS (in front of me) that his new sister (my DD) would always be special to her because she's his sister. Scroll forward a year and she said some pretty unkind things about my parenting capabilities when DH took her to court for access. Yes, there's some mean women out there. I can't see the point of bad-mouthing someone you share a parenting role with, but clearly not everyone shares that opinion! Totally agree with calicoblue