parents meeting with teacher

[alwaystryingtobeafriend]

Hiya

So dp had a meeting with his kids teachers this morning and apparantly dsd talks about me a lot. I'm not sure how to take this because in a previous post I think I mentioned that dsd goes home to her mum and paints me in a bad light.

I'm guessing that she maybe just does this because she feels disloyal to mum for maybe liking me.has anyone e experienced this? Xx

Could be 1001 reasons why she might talk about you at school - maybe she likes to boast about having two homes/mums, maybe she likes to paint you as a wicked stepmum, maybe she just talks freely and casually about her home life and you're a big part of that.

Did the teacher suggest she was saying she had an unhappy relationship with you?

No I think it was positive. Like you say she could be boasting. But part of me thinks she can talk freely about me without being told off.

Sounds good then. You might well be right that she may be aware that speaking about you to her mum hits a nerve, whereas at school she can relax and talk feely about you.

Though I do always wonder what the real subtext is when teachers say "yes DC loves to tell us all about her homelife"....... Implying they know stuff that we'd probably rather they didn't

Oh gosh yes. Just as you say, mum really doesn't want to hear it.

To be honest I hear lots about her mum and boyfriend I also couldn't give a fig about but I nod and smile politely and say that's interesting or whatever is polite, if she felt she couldn't mention people in her life I would be worried.

I wouldn't take the trouble you get from her mum as a negative on your DSD, does she ACTUALLY paint you in a bad light or does mum snap up anything she says that she doesn't want to hear and focus on it. Its easy to do, kids have a bad habit of saying 'well mums boyfriend lets me do.....' and if you take that too seriously you could easily think they are completely irresponsible.

Kids will give the highlights, they won't talk about how you wiped their nose they will talk about how you swung them round or let them stay up late.

I am sure if she is talking about you at school, it is positive and she does not say anything nice in front of her mother due to loyalty.

It is horrid though, DSS tells his mother all sorts of stuff from our house, it gets twisted and relayed back. He even told my DD's friends at school that I am a drug addict.

DD asked him why he told his mother everything that happens in our house, he replied that he did not tell her everything just the interesting stuff. I hate it, the result is that we do not tell DSS or say anything in front of him that we don't want going back to his mother. We did not tell him when my father died as we knew she would be unpleasant about him.

Calico that's sad you couldn't tell him but I understand what you mean.

I'm just a bit confused I suppose at how to feel. I mean on one hand it's nice she talks about me positively. But at the same time it's slightly worrying because I know the types of things that go to her mum. It's total Jekyll and Hyde stuff. Eg she will bitch to mum about me saying all sorts. Then she is all nice to my face and. Clearly talking about me at school.

Poor kid clearly doesn't know where she stands. I could never stop kids talking about their mum. And I would never bad mouth their mum in front of them. I get the impression that doesn't happen at her mums.

She probably get rewarded for saying things about you at home. Rewarded with attention and praise, so feels good doing it.

My DSS used to come and tell me things that his mother would have told him. I knew her for years before the kids were born. It was fairly boring stuff, like the cat I had in my 20's was ugly. Could not understand why they would spend so much time being nasty about me. I never say anything about her.

I view it as their problem.