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Original poster

Not being 100% when DSC visit

13 replies

rosepetalsoup · 15/02/2015 13:11

DSC visit this weekend. I am very pregnant and feeling extremely tired. DH has a bug and a massive work deadline. DSC (12) is visiting and we have been obviously frazzled, needing early nights and misunderstanding each other, trying desperately to get chores done. We have scheduled in a few treats here and there but it feels like a failure, with nobody able to entertain DSD properly. It's so hard, if she was my child I would enlist her to help with the chores or just explain I was exhausted - maybe even get her to make me a cup of tea!

Please others reassure me they've had weekends like this.

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penny13610 · 15/02/2015 13:21

Yes, I have had weekends like this.
She is DH's child. Get him to enlist her to help with chores and explain that you are exhausted. Get her to make you a cup of tea!
Entertain her low effort by snuggling down and watching a movie together. DH does not have to be a Disney dad, you don't have to be wonder step mum, its OK to be boring sometimes.

Original poster
rosepetalsoup · 15/02/2015 13:26

We did video last night. Unfortunately no snuggling down together as she has chronic nits!

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penny13610 · 15/02/2015 13:35

There you go rose this afternoons activity all sorted.
I so miss the days of combing through 3DC & 2DSC Wink hopefully you are almost through this stage

Original poster
rosepetalsoup · 15/02/2015 13:38

I hope so Penny! At what age do the nits stop?

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penny13610 · 15/02/2015 13:44

Kids seem to become less tasty around puberty.
However, it depends on who they rub heads with. Only really antisocial kids seem to avoid nits.

Original poster
rosepetalsoup · 15/02/2015 13:50

Ah catch-22! I am not otherwise looking forward to DSD hitting puberty but now maybe I should be! We do the nits each visit. I secretly hope she starts peroxiding her hair!!

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wheresthelight · 15/02/2015 14:23

nits are the bane of my life because the bloody exw refuses to do anything about them and as she has gone back to cancelling contact unless it benefits her not to have the kids we have barely seen them since xmas.

but yes I had weekends when I was pregnant where I felt bad for the kids that they ended up sat in front of endless films because I couldn't move without being sick (serious hg).

to be honest I gave up feeling guilty, sometimes it does kids good to have some down time and at 12 het her helping! She lives in your house part time and therefore ought tp be involved in chores and making you a cuppa!

Original poster
rosepetalsoup · 15/02/2015 14:28

She deffo doesn't see it as she lives here p/t, but I don't think she helps at home either. I don't mind and have given up any idea of changing all that, but it is hard when you have a little face staring at you needing attention and you feel like passing out. We always worry if she doesn't have a good time she won't come again, I guess.

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wheresthelight · 15/02/2015 14:50

My dsc's don't lift a finger at their mum's either! and she is disgusted that I make them walk the dog, set the table, tidy their bedrooms, bring their washing down and put it in the machine if it's empty.

they wanted a dog ergo they help look after he
they want clean clothes they need to fetch them down and learn tobwash them
they want dinner then the table needs to be set

yes they need treats too but treating them like a guest will only make a rod for your own back imo

Original poster
rosepetalsoup · 15/02/2015 14:52

It sounds like yours visit more frequently than mine, wheres. Mine stay in what is essentially a guest room (we have a tiny house), and often prefer to take home dirty clothes (like another weekend visitor might). I can see what you mean though.

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TheMumsRush · 15/02/2015 15:14

My DSC only stay EOW but they still help, still make a cuppa. They take their washing home but I don't conciser them guests, they are part of the family and we all help where we can. That's normal family life

wheresthelight · 15/02/2015 15:39

Mine are here every other weekend and usually one night a week when their mum isn't being a cow about contact so nothing more than is "normal".

if you treat them like guests then I am afraid you can't expect them to act like anything but guests. mine take clothes from their mum's home because she gets narky about stuff being left here but they also have a massive selection of clothes here and I am damned if I am going to lug their stuff downstairs as well as everyone else's! they live here however part time and they pitch on like every other member of the family

Original poster
rosepetalsoup · 15/02/2015 20:20

Hm, maybe we're doing it a bit wrong and that's making it extra exhausting. I'll think about it.

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