Are you friends with your DSC on FB?

[concretekitten]

i currently am but I'm considering removing her or setting it so she can only see limited things for the following reasons...

1. she's not old enough to be on there and I don't agree with it so feel like a hypocrite having her on my friends list
2. her mum has access to her profile so can log on to it and see my profile. In the past I've been 'stalked' by her mum on fb and received abusive messages so now her, her boyfriend and all her close friends and family are blocked.
3. I constantly have to be really careful about what I put on there. Not that I'm ever shouting obscenities or anything but I feel I'm having to be extra careful n I'm not free to say what I want.

I only accepted her friend request because I didn't want to upset her.

Last weekend (non contact weekend) we went to visit my grandad in hospital, he lives near the seaside so whilst we were there we went for a (very cold but pleasant) walk on the beach, took some lovely pics of DD playing and posted a couple on fb.
Last night DSC came and DSD was in tears because we went to the seaside without them.
It wasn't a day out, we were visiting my dying grandad which wasn't really a trip for DSC to come along on.
I feel like I shouldn't have to sensor what I put on fb in order to save the feelings of a child who shouldn't even be on there.

What would you do?

Not changing mine to anything lower than restricted (so basically just my profile pic and cover photo) as I don't want my albums being nosed through, :) if I want Dss to see something I'll just tag him in it

yellowdaisies it's tricky though, tbh it's hard to know how much of what DSD says is her genuine feelings and how much is just crocodile tears. Sometimes she acts very grown up and she seems really emotionally mature but then other times she can act like she's 3. I suppose that's pretty normal for 9? Especially for daddy's girls who aren't with daddy anymore?
In one of DH's arguments with his ex she said something about us leaving DSC out of family days, which is total nonsense, are we expected to just stay in the house on the weekends we don't have them? It does make me wonder whether she's projecting that opinion on to DSD. I guess we'll probably never know.
The last thing I want is to upset her

My dsc's aren't old enough but u think I would probably add them and then restrict what they can see as I know damn well their mum would be all over it like a rash

Does sound a delicate situation. I guess you could start gentle by mentioning things you've done with DD that she wouldn't particularly care about, and then making to link to along what she's been up to whilst at her mum's. I'm not sure how old your DD is but guessing she's little out won't be long before she's telling DSD what you've all been up to without her so I don't think hoping she'll not know about things that happen when she's not there is a sustainable long term strategy

I am with DSD but not DSS - he hardly uses FB. But then they are young adults so its rather different ....

I often get requests from people wanting to 'friend' me on FB, if I don't want them as friends, I simply ignore the request. If asked I say, oh I didn't see it!

I was friends with my step kids on face book until there mother was logging into there account and messaging me pretending to be the kids , so I removed all of them Lol

Needaholiday - she's 9 and on Twitter!! The same Twitter which happily allows pornografic videos & pictures? I am a gamer and use Twitter to keep up with the latest games and reviews and sometimes in my feed I get some horrendous videos & pics that people have retwitted. I am gobsmacked that a mother would happily let her child on Facebook and/or Twitter before the age of 15/16 to be honest. I know she's your stepchild so there's nothing you can do but jeez that's just terrible. My dc are not allowed on any social networking accounts until 16 and their dad wholeheartedly agrees. I don't want my dc exposed to the filth some people like to share with others on social media at such a tender age.