tips on telling dss and dsd about new baby

[geordiemacminx]

Hey everyone. Not posted on here before as I usually hang out on the ante natal thread but your advice would be gratefully appreciated.

Dp has dd15 and ds11 from first marriage. They live 4 hours away from us so that combined with the fact that they are too cool to hang out with their dad means we dont see them that often, although talk quite a lot. Anyways we are going to see them at the weekend to tell them that I am 3 months pregnant... am hoping that its going to be ok, they are good kids really and its not going to affect them a great deal but their monther is a bit of a witch at times, and I think still holds a candle for dp, despite them being divored for 8 years.

Just looking for some words of wisdom or advice on how to tell them etc

Hi there
Tricky one this I agree. I had a similar situation but with much younger skids! I think with older ones you have to let them come to you if they have questions, queries etc so perhaps make it clear that you are very happy about it, let them know that they will still be extremely welcome in your house (maybe even more so now!) but then leave the topic and talk about something else? IMHE with teenagers'older children if you say "now lets all talk about this" that is the last thing they will want to do, so maybe just make it clear that you are happy to talk about it if and when they would like to?
many congrats btw, hope this goes ok for you

Thanks for that, I think you are right, we are planning on taking them out for the day (unfortunatley dsd's boyf is coming too), think its best to tell them over lunch, let them know that they are welcome to come and stay, talk to either of us etc then just leave it til they mention it again. I suppose how much we tlk about it can be gauged (sp) from their reactions.. they might be over the moon and want to now the ins and outs (wishful thinking) or not say anything then its probably nest left until they mention it?

Thanks

xxx