Extended family

[Themrmen]

Hi, we've had a lot of trouble getting the dsc to adjust to new baby being around (he's now 11 months) but finally everything seems to have settled (excluding ex but that's a long and tiresome story) however this probably seems trivial but my sil is really pissing me off, everytime I put anything abouty ds doing or going somewhere on fb, she immediately comments what about the dsc are you going to do xyz for them, or if put a picture up it will automatically be oh doesn't he look like dsc here. I just feel like he is never a separate person to her, he's always compared. It really annoys me, she hasn't seen him for 5 months and is only coming at Xmas to see him as she wants to see older dsc, she actually said if they're not there I won't bother. It's infuriating, we have a very delicate relationship so don't want to bring it up but mentioned to dp who thinks I'm being stupid. Am I???

Deffo Peruvian -- my DH's extended family certainly perceive my DSC as damaged and sad following divorce. They're fine, but now they've been sucked into a victim narrative and one of them has started doing badly at school as a result.

I doubt it needaholiday as the whole thing is largely based on how the mum sees herself. My DSC's mum certainly goes in for the whole poor me thing (though she had an affair) and tells the children their dad has 'done' something to make their lives worse, and so everyone else takes it on. If she for once said she was ok or took some responsibility for her life everyone else would perk up too.

Sorry pfl bit touchy about it as had this for a year now. Red I agree the ex totally sees herself as a victim and hard done by, they split 8 years ago, mutual decision although she had the guts to end to say not working. She even now rings him and goes on about the split, it's been 8 years, he's engaged with a new baby, time to just stop. She's had partners since him tends to be when she's single the poor me comes into effect