Is it unreasonable to ask an 18 year old to be quiet after 11 on a Saturday night?

[FeckOffHeadache]

I work Sundays. Have to be up at 5.30. Step kids are here every Saturday night and the eldest (18) likes to play guitar/computer games/chat loudly over the Internet until early hours which keeps me awake. Dp says it's unreasonable to ask an 18 year old to be quiet on a Saturday night. I however feel that at 18 he should consider the fact that people in the house have to be up for work so 11pm isn't an unreasonable time to tone down the racket. What do you reckon?

Your dh is being an arse.

of course it is not unreasonable.
And anyway apart from you, dont you have neighbours?

my 18 year old is quiet when we go to bed whatever time it is. Well teenager quiet - creaky raids on the fridge, falling upstairs, leaving lights on, remembering and creaking back to switch them off, chatting to friends - but he really tries to be quieter.

I agree, your dh is being an arse. common courtesy is an essential lifeskill in my book.

We have no neighbours, detached house so everyone thinks it's fine to make a huge racket constantly

Yanbu. So inconsiderate of him

Can you move his room to the furtherest from yours if he won't tone it down "?

Not in the slightest bit unreasonable.

I have the same conversations regularly about week nights.

Router off and zzzzzzz

The router for our broadband always used to be in our bedroom, so if I switched it off, there was no way DSS would have come into our bedroom at night to switch it back on again.

I sympathise with you OP - DH's remit was never household harmony, just a desperation to ensure that DSS wanted to continue visiting ......

i bet the 18 year old has a good lie in on sunday mornings.

Perhaps some vigorous, prolonged hoovering would spoil his lie-in ?????

Bloody hell - I didn't realise that manners and consideration (or lack of them) are governed by which day of the week it happens to be.

Agree with Furcoat that your DP is being an arse - and so is the 18 year old, who's supposed to be an adult, albeit a young one.

I can't believe your partner actually thinks it's okay for you to work after, perhaps, just 2 or 3 hours sleep and that that takes second place to his kidult son's desire to entertain himself. Stuff like this makes me fume just reading about it so God knows how you feel living it.

Maybe on Friday nights you should try making a selfish racket until the early hours of Saturday morning and see how DP likes being prevented from sleeping?

I can't believe the ridiculous Disney crap that some NR dads seem to come out with. You are definitely not being unreasonable, OP. It's your home, too.

Would your DP still have this view if his DS lived with you full time? Would he still have this view if he was the one getting up for work?

I've always maintained that Disney Dads allow their DC to have/do/behave any thing/way they want because.... generally it's the dad's that leave the family home, leaving the mums with the DC in their familiar environment! From there on, dads are consumed with guilt and worry that the DC will not want to/be prevented from coming to visit, so they're terrified of saying no and being the bad guy, and in a lot of cases (mine) they say things like 'you want more chocolate before your dinner, oh you'd better ask SM/SGM, see what she says' , hence, we are the meany ones who always deny them.....Sound familiar?!

Anyone, of any age, should show courtesy towards the other people who live in their house. I will exclude babies and small children from this rule :)

Do you think your DP would tolerate it if he had to be up at 5:30?

Well it's a shame now that you need to start crashing around and waking everyone up at 5am on a Sunday morning then isn't.

Any age of person should be quiet enough not to keep others awake after they've gone to bed, well anyone from the age of about 3 up. Does your DP think DSS is too young to know how to behave? Or too old to be set any house rules by the people who pay for the house he lives in?

I hope you're not tip toeing around at 5.30am, quiet as a mouse getting ready in the dark so as not to disturb anyone.

I'd be showing the same consideration I was given.

Unbelievable. Is your DP so Disney that he would say the noise is OK if he was the one getting up early for work?

Surely the guitar, computer games etc can be done with headphones on?

Have you asked DSS directly?

If you get no joy on this from either DSS or DP, I'd definitely be making lots of noise when you get up for work....

It's called respect and consideration for others. Doesn't matter what day of the week it is or what time people have to get up after 11 is not acceptable. I don't have to get up tomorrow morning but that doesn't mean I have to be kept up half the night

I would be making as much noise as possible tomorrow morning and then go to work leaving the tv on

If I had to be up at 5.30 I'd want it quiet by 10pm at the latest. At 18 he can surely go out if he wants to make a lot of noise?

Zombie thread.

Gosh, that's weird - I was only the second poster on the thread today and saw no warning about it being a zombie?

Didn't even look at the date as it normally comes up as a zombie thread

YANBU.

My 19 year old is quiet as soon as dd2 goes to bed at 8pm.

Your DH is being an arse

In fact they both are!

Damn