AIBU - 16 month old and health visitors!

[InTooDeepKid]

AIBU.. To be mad both at social services and health visitors?

It's a very complicated relationship between my DP and his EXgf. They have a 16 month old son together, my DSS. There is no contact with EXgf due to harassment and abuse in street etc. all contact is done through DSS grandma.

When DSS was 8 months there was serious concerns about his well being and her parenting. I know of 5 different people having made social services aware of their concerns including myself and DP, there was no abuse involved just basic neglect, dirty, smelly clothes that didn't fit, mouldy bottles, questions as to who he was being left with daily (drugs, alcohol etc.).. He was generally unhappy to be handed back over. She's a young mum and my concerns were that she just wasn't coping and needed help.. What did social services do.. NOTHING not one thing. Surely after 5 different people have contacted this would have made them think.. We should go check this out. But no.

Anyway, this week we phoned the health visitor wanting to get DSS checked over as concerns still there on growth etc other things looking better, fingers crossed. Only to find out that they had no records of DSS as they haven't seen him since 6 weeks old.. 6 WEEKS (we couldn't take him as apparently needed EXgf permission, that wasn't going to happen!) No checks done, only recently have social services requested records and realised there is none! I am so mad they've never chased this up or even been round to check he was okay.

I know there is more serious cases in the world, but if a concern is being expressed based on children's welfare surely someone should take it more seriously?!

Neglect is abuse...

I hope you documented things OP?

That does seem bad. But why can't your DP take him to the heath visitor? As long as he's named on the birth certificate, he should have PR and be just as able to take him to the health visitor or GP as his ex is. Is query that with them if that's what they said

He does have parental responsibility.. The health visitor said that because EXgf is his 'primary carer' there is nothing we can do, I did think that was a bit off purpleroses.. We can take him to gp as it had come to light that he'd not had his 1 year injections so we took him there last week but apparently not health visitors.. Weird

And yeah I have a diary with everything written in kept because of our original trip to solicitors (can no longer afford to do things that way due to serious change in financial situation) troublesometrucker.

And fuckwittery, DP mum rang up to complain and see what they were playing it direct quote 'we've opened up a file and we're getting round to it' eight months down the line, only now have they requested the records to find there is none!

In that case I'd take your general concerns about DSS's well-being up with the GP. They can do everything a health visitor can if needs be.

That sounds like a good idea, had never even thought of that

My DD is 2 and she hasn't seen a HV since she was about 6 weeks old either. I think it depends on the area but in our area they don't do any routine checks until their 2 year check and apparently they're so far behind on them most children are nearly 3 before they get their appointment through.
It isn't good but they are sooooooo over stretched.
When I used to take DS to the weigh in clinic they never used to ask who I was but if you took DSS without his red book then they may start asking questions.
Do you know which GP he is under? Your DP is entitled to take him to GP appointments, he can always take a copy of his birth certificate in case they have any concerns about who he is and whether he has parental responsibility.

Loopy, I have no DC of my own so I don't actually know what's supposed to be checked but my younger brothers (6&7) had 6month and 12month checks as well, which I would have thought had been done esp with the social services involvement, I know what you mean though! I think we're gonna go the GP root now as that seems to be the most likely way we're gonna get anywhere.

ALTHOUGH, she has now stopped contact because of the 'way me and DP have acted over all of this' (she's the one that made a scene, screaming and grabbing DP in the street before threatening to change his last name!) looks like back to solicitors it goes