Did I overstep the bounds?

[LeftHandedMouse]

DSD was in tears about 'having' to go to her b/f's for the evening because he would be angry if she didn't.

That's a separate issue which we're dealing with, however...

While DP was talking through this with DSD, said bf turned up at the door and asked if DSD was in.

I'm sure I replied that she was talking to DP, to wait there and I would check. And I closed the door, leaving bf outside.

Usually he would come in, but they would also disappear without saying a word.

As DSD seemed to be struggling with his demand she see him, I thought it was not unreasonable he should wait at the door. Plus I thought they were meeting elsewhere and this was him putting pressure on her by turning up on the doorstep.

He's now said I shut the door on him, he doesn't feel welcome at our house. Which is ironic considering he doesn't feel he has to take his shoes off, shut the toilet door while he pees and is happy to munch his way through our food.

Difficult one for a SP, not in a position to discuss DSD's life choices but surely I can decide who I have in my house?

No, you were protecting DSD

That is all

No, not at all. He sounds... unpleasant.

No, you didn't overstep. Its your house and he sounds very rude.

Not at all. You were doing what you thought best for DSD. How old is she? Her boyfriend sounds very needy if he insists she see him all the time. He sounds too full on and if she's getting upset about seeing him because he'd be angry otherwise, it's a big concern.

Christ he sounds awful> I'd be getting her the Lundy Bancroft book 'why does he do that' for Christmas!!

No, well played. You don't answer to him! Who gives a toss how he feels. Explain to DSD why you did that and say I wanted to make sure you were comfortable before I let him in, that's all that matters to me is that you feel comfortable here in your home. Good work.

I'm always a bit when people like this say they don't feel at home and think well actually its not your home, behave like the guest you are ;)

opps wrong thread sorry

YANBU, if he doesn't feel welcome then he doesn't have to come to your home anymore. He sounds like a prick!

Sounds like the less she sees of him the better. I suppose you have told her that is doesn't have to be like this and that is a red flag in a relationship?

I think you were perfectly reasonable. It sounds like a worrying situation. What he has said is the truth though. It sounds like he is not welcome at your house, and rightly so.