Puddings when dsc are not there

[Fairiesdance1]

My dp thinks when his son is not at our house for tea then some of the pudding should be reserved for him. I don't think this is right as dss is eating at his mums house. Tonight dp asked if part of the pudding was being kept back. I replied that he was free to keep some of his portion for dss. Am I wrong? My kids only see their dad twice a year but of they were spending nights every week then I would not be keeping puddings back.

This is the worst Disney behaviour!

Fairies, I'd be tempted to do lots of choccy puds - especially things like mousse or ice cream. They won't look appetising two hours later, let alone two days.

I think your handling of it (asking the obvious questions then stepping back) is a good way to keep your sanity.

This is only a little party of the overall disney behaviour. There is a consent stream of buying affection and making every event over the top special. And this is from both of my dss parents almost trying to outdo each other. There is no set boundaries and too much over indulgence. I don't understand it my kids have divorced parents and there is no disney parenting from either side.

Fairi, this would drive me nuts! My DH an be Disney, but not to that extreme! So he have dss his dessert tonight? Crazy behaviour

Yep but knowing this would happen I made apple crumble. So my dcs didn't feel left out!

I could imagine my DH behaving like that - he used to do really bizarre stuff (not involving pudding, thank god) out of guilt, and out of sheer terror of losing his 'preferred parent' status.

Yes, and that's where it all goes wrong. The minute the parent becomes insecure about his relationship with the non resident child, they put the child on a pedestal, entertain/indulge instead of parenting, and the dynamics become really skewed. Common sense goes out the window.

I think I need to step back when this behaviour happens and distance myself from it. My dc well being has to b a priority so that is my focus.