Autism, to be or not to be?

[Mariestepmum]

Hi,
I coud spend hours writing this, but I wont.
I'm 30, partner older. I'm a step mum to two (ok four but they are a similar age to me and live in there own house) both boys are on the ASD scale (one lower functioning autistic, the other aspergers)..... Do I attempt to have children?

That's a hard call. I have 2 boys, my younger has ASD. That stopped me having more children, as it is a risk factor. It's an impossible thing to advise on.

What does your heart say? Do you want to be a mother?

I have a child with ASD and I have chosen to stop at one, as the genetic risk factor is high. I'm part of our local support group for autism and all the parents with two or more dc on the spectrum struggle far more than me with just the one, and a lot of them have privately admitted that if their first child with ASD was diagnosed earlier, they would also have just had the one. Not saying that's the decision you should make, but life is certainly going to be harder even if your child is unaffected, just by being in the same household with two dc with ASD. From what I hear from my friends, life is hard on the siblings and they miss out on a lot.

I have 5 children and number 4 has Aspergers but number 5 doesn't, (nor do any of the older children, but they have a different Dad). I think children who have siblings with any special need/disability/issues do miss out on some things but that would never have been a reason for me not to have had my last child. She loves her brother and is a very kind natured child, I think she has benefited from having her brother and he has certainly benefited from having her in his life.
Would you rather have a child with possible difficulties and all that that may involve or not? If you can answer that question good luck whichever way you decide!

I'm in almost exactly the same situation (30, older partner with 4 kids - one with Aspergers and one with lower-functioning autism) and between us DP and I have decided not to have children. Firstly because of the genetic risk factor, and secondly because it is hard enough work when we do have the kids over that I can't imagine trying to add in another child to that, especially a newborn.