My husband and I have been married almost 4 years when married him I never met his kids from ex-wife. The first time I met then they came for the summer and my husband left for training (he’s military) for 3 months; leaving me pregnant and a lone with 3 kids I didn’t know for the whole summer break. I was upset because I needed to be on bed rest and couldn’t. Now it’s always the same every summer we fight a lot( money, kids etc) Because all he does is play video games when not at work; leaving me to care for all the kids. We now have two kids ages 2 and 1. So every summer I’m caring for 6 kids with no help.( I also have a child from ex husband) I can’t began to explain how much resentment and anger have built up inside. It wouldn’t be so bad if he helped out and gave me a break once in the while. Now when they come to our house every little thing irritates me. My husband will talk to them like their babies (ages 13, 11, 10) and I try hard to bit my tongue. But when he’s not around they talk and act normal. They are always trying to start stuff between us like laying to him saying I said something to them when I didn’t.
We are barely making it pay check by paycheck because he’s ex get a lot of child support that’s supposed to go towards daycare but they haven’t been in daycare for over 4 years. We just don’t have money for lawyer to have it adjusted. Every summer we have to sell and pawn stuff just to feed the children. We have to get help from churches because the lights or water will be turned off. When we ask their mother for help with at least half the child support she won’t; she usually goes on trip to Indian or wherever with the child support; and will even rub it in our face or call the girls saying guess where I am. After almost 4 years I’m to the point of walking away from my marriage or at least leaving in the summer time. Mentally and financially I can’t handle this anymore. I know its wrong but I feel like if their his kids he should be the one using his money for their clothes, shoes, and whatever else they need. Not me. I’m not their mother. I take care of them because he won’t. I think a lot of my husband problem is the two youngest are not biologically his because he’s ex cheated; I don’t understand why he will push them off on me like I did it.
Am I a bad step mother for wanting to leave? Does this make me a bad person for having so must resentment?