needs a vent before i flip my nut ...

[alwaystryingtobeafriend]

I am actually stressing myself right out and need to get this off my chest because i am going to go nuts otherwise.

We got a rescue dog on friday and already he has knocked over and jumped on dss and nipped dsd. He is a hyper dog aNd the kids know this. Dog is stilll quite young and mouthy.

Today is contact day. Plan was to stick thedogin his crate let kids come in let dog out when he has calmed down. Kids came chapped the door i asked them to wait til i sorted the dog - they didnt. Dog went nuts junping all over the place. Dp is in the loo im trying to control a dog and 2 kids who immediately try to start playing with the dog. Thing is if anything happens id never forgive myself so im a possed the kids didnt listrn to me. Then my sister called and im trying to talk to her watch the kids and a dog. Dp appears gives me a stinking look for unknown reason ( prob cause i weny nuts at everyone before my phone rang). Then i moved room to get peace to talk and everyone got louder followed me into kitchen. Swear to god i coulda killed someone.

Then dp has the audacity to say - you look stressed are you ok? Eh maybe just a little bit. Ffs.

Now im thinking as im typing this is noones fault but my own. shoulda crated the dog soon as we got home, called my sister back and stop trying to do a million things at once.

End rant/vent.

Why..what...and...erm

Ok then.

Im also pissed the kids didnt listen to me. they never listen and they encroach on my persobal space its drivi g me bonkers!!!

think you answered your own rant there the kids should have listened but if the dog was already crated and you had phoned your sister back later you might not of ended up feeling so bad. yes they should listen and do what asked but probably just over excited about dog. hope training him goes well for you all. plus I also found noone listens when I rant as I become white noise. simple clear instructions all round

Its jist so stressful and dp really needs tk up his game. I cook i clean i work i wstch the dig all day i walk him. He works and walks the dog. im just in a mood now. Need to snap out it. X

It's not easy to look at things after the event and think "I could have done that differently" so don't be too hard on yourself!

Who wanted the dog?

I know how tough it can be to be a stepmum and recognise the need to vent sometimes...but why would you buy a young, mouthy, hyper dog that needs to be caged up to stop him 'nipping' people when you have 2 young kids? If those were my kids I would be seriously pissed off that you were putting them in harms way.

The kids ar 10 and 8. We all wanted the dog. Hes not viscious he just needs trained. Hes not caged its called crated but its never for long periods and just while he is being trained. He is less hyper once people ate in and settled. Dp would never put kids in danger. It wad just a hectic night tonight. Its the first time kids have come in apart from the day we got him. Its only been 4 days.

OP if he is in a cage then he is caged. Using the word crated doesn't change that.

Anyhow you are right you should have planned it better and it would not have happened.
Please ensure your dog receives professional training and maybe encourage the children to help you with training techniques it may help them to understand that their behaviour around the dog is important.

But despite all that, it has knocked over and jumped on one child and 'nipped' the other. I'm not criticising the use of the crate, far from it, but the fact that you need to use it to protect the kids as they come in, and that you have it in your mind that there is a possibility that 'anything' might 'happen' shows there is a risk. And how do you know he isn't vicious after only 4 days?

Your life sounds very stressful; kids that don't listen to you and get in your space, what sounds like a disproportionate amount of the household jobs, work, a dp who doesn't pull his weight and now a hyper dog that needs watching constantly round the kids and needs training, walking, cleaning up after...I think you would find it easier to stop trying to do a million things at once if there weren't a million things to be done! Would getting a slightly older, trained and gentle dog have been such a problem?

OP, the "doghouse" section of MN is a great place for support from like minded dog owners

It sounds like rehoming the dog was a family decision, which is great and as it should be, but moving forward, questions like whether the dog is safe with your DSC now he's home, and how involved they should be in training him, isn't your call to make - despite what others (like the DCs mum) may expect of you.

It's your DP who is responsible for his DCs, and he should be putting their needs first and discussing his views with you.

From the tone and content of your first post, I'm guessing that doesn't always happen, which is undoubtedly very frustrating for you!

He is starting obediance classes so will be trained. He has never hurt anyone in the past from what the dog home tell us and he is just overly friendly. It was just really frustrating this evening. An older tamer dog would have been more sensible but dp wanted this one and he was the only one i would agree on. As soo. As i am confident he is trained the crate will go. It was just a frustarted vent that now makes me feel bad for getting the daft dog in the 1st place. Dp is convinced the kids are ok with him and so its his call. I just need everyone to muck in. And dp says they will but it never happens. Its hard being home all day with pooch trying to work and then the walks and the feeding (dog and family) and just being on edge that anything i say is going to get taken the wrong way. If i just stop doing everything i wonder what woulf happen? Would we run out of clothes/food/ dishes etc.

Dp is the issue i think. I need him to be on my side and help me more. I was trying to amuse the dog ( that he chose and he wanted) while he played on his phone.

Big chat is on its way i think. X

Cross post wakey. I think your right. I have veen in 'the doghouse' which is really good for advice re the dog. I was just frustrated tonight at dp and dsc. It is his call re them and their wellbeing. Its just a nightmare just now. Xx

Sounds like you know what you need to do next OP and you are of course right. Your DP needs to do his share with the home and the family (including pooch) he lives their too and you are his partner not his maid/dog walker/babysitter and he needs to stop treating you like hired help but without the pay

Hope all goes well with the dog.

"Now im thinking as im typing this is noones fault but my own. shoulda crated the dog soon as we got home, called my sister back and stop trying to do a million things at once."

Yup.

Are you really in a position to have a new untrained dog?

Probably not but we will manage. He isnt a bad dog just excitable. Like i say if everyone mucked in it wouldnt be as bad.