Step child asking to call me mummy

[jenwake90]

My partner has a 5 year from a previous relationship. We have 50/50 access and have a great relationship with him. If anything he prefers to be at ours and vets hysterically when we take him home to his mums

Recently he's become intrested in the where do baby's come from and he wants a brother/sister. Unknown to him we have discussed that we are going to start trying

He asked me today when we have a baby at daddy's house will the baby call you mummy too which I replied yes. He then went on to ask. Can I call you mummy when the baby comes. I paused and replied if that's what you want to do and left it as that.

His mum has a partner of 3 years and in the last year encourages him to call her parter daddy.

Was that the right response by me??

He just wants to be part of and he will prob grow out of it.
I would spare the child's feelings over his mothers.
You could underline it subtly like 'I'm a bit like a mummy to you while you are here'

I would like to think I would not be upset at another woman being mummy to my DS (same age) in my absence.

Could he maybe call u Mummy and your first name.

How does your dp feel about his child calling somebody else daddy? has he talked about it to you.
I think its lovely that you have a close relationship with your sds, but he already has a mummy and you only get one as a rule.
Personally, I think it is wrong if the parent is still on the scene and with 50/50 it sounds like she is very much on the scene.
You need to ask yourself that if you have a child and your dp moves on again whether you would like your child calling somebody else mummy.

DSS was two when I first met him and his mum and DH split up when he was six months, so he never had any concept of mummy and daddy living together.

When he was a little older, between three and five, he realised that a lot of the time other people's mummy and daddy live together. I live with his daddy so I must be a mummy. To him, it was logical and just a name - he wasn't classing me as his 'mother', i just took on the same role sometimes.

I wasn't comfortable with it, personally; he has a mummy, and although he sees me as part of his family and we are close, my role is different from that of his mother and he was really too young to understand that, so it wasn't an informed decision on his part, IYSWIM.

He calls me by an affection nick name that no one else calls me. That's his special name for me.

Also, I think 'mummy' carries a lot of responsibility. I personally wouldn't be comfortable with a child calling me that unless I knew I could commit to them for the rest of my life.

I think he is probably just trying to find his place if there was another baby.

If your dss and dp are ok with it then I wouldn't encourage or discourage it. He will grow out of it I would think.

My stepkids call my parents Granny mum's name and Grandpa dad's name - they started when my dd was born as they didn't want her to feel like we weren't all a family but they are much older!

My difficulty is getting them to call me mummy when they talk to dd ie they will say "dd go to wheres" and I am trying to get them to understand that she needs them to say "dd go to your mummy" so she doesn't grow up calling me wheres too!

Good luck ??

My DSD started calling me mummy when I first moved in with DP. It was totally unprompted by us and I felt a bit uncomfortable with it.

Since then DP and I have had a child together and so in our house I AM mummy. So it makes more sense that that's what everyone calls me.

DD is too little to understand at the moment but I do wonder whether it's going to confuse her at all to hear her sister call me by my first name. I wouldn't like it if DD didn't call me mummy because of that.

Nope. I'm both mum and sm, and i'd pitch a batshit fit if my kids called anyone else mummy ..

Good suggestion about a name only DSS uses, a pet name as it were.
That's what i did when sd and ss wanted to call me mum, and their 'mother' was alive but not in the picture.

Of course to all three i'm the scum of the earth now lol

But i digress. It's lovely and sweet dss wants to call you that but it could be an unexploded bomb. Better not for the sake of harmony and all that

I would always gently correct a child from calling a non parent mummy or daddy (if other parent is involved)
I don't really understand why you wouldn't.

The child decides don't they? You risk hurting their feelings if you correct them, besides she calls her step dad daddy.

I would be quite devastated to hear my ds was calling someone else Mummy.

Does the child decide everything? Why would it hurt their feelings to explain something?

im another who doesn't think it is appropriate, it is lovely that he thinks so much of you but he has a mummy. I'd be really hurt if my ds was calling anyone else mummy and similarly I would never encourage to my sc to call me that. perhaps find a compromise

I'd correct the child every time. They have one Mummy and one Daddy. And just because mum's allowing it to go on in her house, it doesn't mean you have to follow suit.

I would be devastated and go batshit if my dcs called another woman mummy.

Nip it in the bud.

Back to the op's question, I think your reply was fine. It was the equivalent of "We'll wait and see". I really wouldn't worry about it.

Though i didn't go batshit when DS decided he would call his nursery teacher, who he adored and so do i shes ab fab :) 'mumma teachers name' I also think its wrong of the ex to allow the child to call stepdad 'daddy' and wouldn't allow it myself but, as we all know, those men are 'brilliant' whereas stepmums are 'evil and trying to take over the world'