Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Flip

Original poster

If a DHs exw had new baby. Does this affect how much child support he pays her ?

15 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 06/08/2014 20:27

Just that really ! I don't think logically it will but can't find a definitive answer. The Exw has a child with DH for whom he pays support and she has two children now with her new DH.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Elizabeth120914 · 06/08/2014 20:28

Don't think so but I know if the non RP does it reduces the maintenance they have to pay if that helps at all..

financialwizard · 06/08/2014 20:30

No it doesn't.

MuttonCadet · 06/08/2014 20:30

No, it doesn't matter what her circumstances are, he pays for his child based on his circumstances (wages, adjusted for nights his child is with him and any other dependent children).

Original poster

Bahhhhhumbug · 06/08/2014 20:38

Thanks all. I thought not but as you say Elizabeth I know if he had another child it would reduce the payments he makes so I was thinking they would similarly calculate his ex would have less money for each child iyswim. Many thanks

OP posts:

needaholidaynow · 06/08/2014 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Petal02 · 07/08/2014 09:58

Whilst your DH won't have to pay any more if his ex has another man's baby, it can indirectly make a difference. You could find that there's less money to go round in the ex's household, which means the maintenance that your DH pays doesn't seem to get spent on his child - my DH's ex had two babies with her new husband, and then DSS started coming to us with clothes he'd outgrown, worn shoes etc etc, so obviously we had to start buying more "extras" for him.

toni74 · 07/08/2014 10:32

Would agree with Petal02, we experienced similar.

expectantmum79 · 07/08/2014 12:00

My OH's ex sends DSD to us in her worst clothes , mismatched and in appropriate for the weather.

He buys lovely things for her and I often buy her stuff. (as does my mum ) but when we see her she's never wearing them.

FreeSpirit89 · 07/08/2014 17:33

We have that issue DSD is coming to us without a coat, poor shoes, knickers two sizes too small. We raised the concern about the lack of dutiable clothes, to be told. " I have 3 other kids to worry about."

So we send her home in a coat and with new shoes, there never to be seen again.

We have a stash of clothes for DSD here know.

YouAreMyRain · 07/08/2014 17:38

My DC go to their dads in their crappiest clothes on purpose because he never returns them! They have "lost" countless wellies, shoes, coats, clothes etc. at his house.

If you want to buy nice clothes for them, keep them at your house so they only wear them when with you.

Elizabeth120914 · 07/08/2014 19:54

We do this new clothes and shoes here. Bath and get changed on arrival get changed before going home. She tends to come in either very tarty, small or dirty clothes. If we send new clothes back they are never seen again.

Partly I think this is because she tells us she likes the clothes but doesn't really but it makes life much easier to keep them here last year we spent over £300 for stuff for the school trip and everything disappeared without a trace...

expectantmum79 · 07/08/2014 21:05

That's awful. It's embarrassing to take a child out/ away on hols poorly dressed. It makes you feel like wicked stepmum. I would far rather spend the money and then relax that DD doesn't look like Cinderella.

expectantmum79 · 07/08/2014 21:07

I can understand how you feel though youaremyrain.

fedupbutfine · 07/08/2014 22:15

I am on the third set of coats this year with my ex, he doesn't seem to know where any of them are when I ask him but the children have told me that they are hanging in his hallway. They just don't know how to challenge him properly - too young still and looking up to him. There comes a point where you fight fire with fire as you just can't keep affording to have stuff go missing. They've gone to him today in decent, mainly new clothing. I bet none of it is ever seen again but as you say, I won't take them out dressed like crap and they were at dad's straight afterwards. It's very hard to strike a balance with these issues - communication is key but for so many of us it's impossible.

Elizabeth120914 · 08/08/2014 09:19

When we first started making DSD get changed to go home I felt like a total ogre but she seems to just get on with it and isn't bothered. It's pretty sad but we normally go out somewhere or for a meal and it's a nightmare having to buy new clothes constantly not to mention expensive!

I've never known anyone who sends a child in a t-shirt to a house with no central heating in winter! I've never seen her wear a coat whatever the weather and shoes .. We won't get started!

I always say to her she's like the queen 4 bedrooms in different houses and 3 wardrobes full of clothes!!

Flip