Feeling sad

[gingercat2]

It's not technically a step-parenting issue. Last weekend I took DSD to buy her school formal dress. I was really happy to do so, and enjoyed it, but I'm feeling sad and angry that her mum didn't. I don't know why, and I don't want to talk to any of the family about it as it will seem judgey. Her bf's mum and her sister are showing an interest by helping arrange hair and makeup. It's not about the money - DSD saved up for the dress herself so me and DP haven't contributed to that at all. I just feel sad that her mum wasn't there. What else can I do to be there for her without trying to take her mother's place?

Don't really know the answer but it's really nice that she's gone with you to get it!

Every year Dsds mum is more interested in getting money for the school uniform than buying it so I always do which I think is sad too we do the name labels and put the badges on etc too which I would have thought was something a mum wanted to do especially for moving up to big school etc but she doesn't...!

Very sad for dsd but I'd just take the positive from it that she went with u and was happy too. Are there lots of other kids at home? There are in our Dsds which is another reason mum doesn't seem bothered/ have time?

Thanks for your thoughts. She is the third out of four kids. Is now living with boyfriend's family, but still 'needs' her mum. Mum didn't get that far in school (I'm not sure if DP did either actually), so maybe they just aren't clued in. Whereas I can still remember the excitement of planning for my formal.

Similar here. Mum hasn't even seen dsd2 prom dress she wore a few weeks ago.

Hasn't been to parents evening or many of her drama performances. Never taken her to the orthodontist...

Despite being told what a fantastic seamstress mum is, I've never once seen any name labels in any of my 4 step children's clothes. We also buy all school shoes. We always hope she will, but rarely does.

I too don't understand it. As a mum to my ds, I feel those sort of jobs have been my thing to do and I've taken pleasure in doing so. I don't understand a mum who doesn't show the same level of interest despite not working at all.

Yes it does sound similar bluehen. I suppose I just need to work on accepting that DSD's mum is the way she is.