Shared Residency - Changing School Issue

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Need some advice please regarding school applications and changing schools. It's a little confusing but I will try and keep it concise and hope you can follow it through... This is on behalf of my DH/DSD.

DSD goes to school in Town A. This is where the old family home is. Her school application was made by her Mother, who stayed in the old family home after they separated. Town A is very small, 1 Infant School which DSD attends, 1 Junior school 1 Secondary school.

My DH and I and the children live in Town B, which is nearby Town A - about a 5 min drive, but not walkable.

EX has said she is moving to Town C which is about a 20 min drive from the school in Town A and a 25 min drive from us.

We have DSD half the time, half of school days and half of weekends and holidays averaged out over the year.

We have to apply for DSD's Junior School place in a few months. Ex wants her to go to the Junior School in Town A and DH would like her to go to the Junior school which is literally right next to our house in Town B.

Both schools are lovely. The one near us has a better Ofsted report and is very sought after, it also has better facilities (a pool etc) and performs better against national averages in English, Maths and SATS but I won't lie, they are both very good schools generally. The primary in Town C is dire and both DH and EX agree it's not an option.

Ex's argument is that almost all of the kids at DSD's Infant school will go to the Junior school (literally next door to her current school but a totally separate school) this is because there is only 1 in the village.

DH's argument is that it will benefit DSD to have one of her two homes right by her school rather than neither and to be able to walk to school 50% of the time rather than having to drive every day. Ex will have to drive regardless of which school she goes to and as I don't drive sometimes when DH is working I have to get a taxi which is a pain (but of course we appreciate that is not Ex's problem as such and a small consideration in comparison).

Also, because EX is moving to Town C there is zero chance of DSD getting into Town A's secondary school from either of our addresses and there isn't a decent one where EX is moving to so DSD will be going to the secondary school near our house when the time comes- all the kids from our local Junior school go to our local Secondary school. Basically she either leaves her friends at the end of infants or at the end of Juniors. She knows lots of kids at our local school already anyway as we go to church and she does Rainbows, dance class etc at the school itself.

The other issue is that DSS is one year below DSD. DH thinks he should stay at the infants for the extra year until it is time for him to move to the Juniors and then join his sister at the Juniors near us. This means 1 school year of having to drop to two schools but they start and finish 15 mins apart and EX will be driving anyway so will only be an extra 5 min drive.

Sorry it's complicated - what do you all think? Honest opinions appreciated. I do of course (true step mum style) keep out of it all in real life!

Anyone know what happens if they can't decide/agree? Is it just down to which parent makes the application to which school? Should DH make an application for a Specific Issue Order or should he wait and see if EX does?

THANKYOU!

I know nothing about what a court might say but personally I think it's a no-brainer to go for school B. It would seem very odd to be at a school in a town where neither parent lives if there's a fantastic option on the doorstep.

Added to the logistical convenience (and I'd include those of step and half siblings - it all impacts the parents and step-parents who have to manage those logistics) and the fact that school B has significantly better results...

The only positive for school A is that DSD won't have to change friends now - but she would age 11. In my experience, a change of schools at primary age is much easier and the children seem more open to new people coming along. Pre-teen girls can be v cliquey and I think it would be harder to come into ready made friendship groups age 11.

I definitely think the formal letter setting out your DH's thinking and suggesting mediation is the way forward. And do check out (legally and/or with the local council) who gets to put in the application in this scenario.

Good luck!

i do understand how sensitive this issue can be to both parents, but i think yr DH is right. Going to a school where neither parent lives is ridiculous imo.

i do understand that her mum may be thinking A) she's happy where she is so leave her and B) how very convenient this all is for you two to have the school right next to you.

But i think in this instance you are right, the school near you makes perfect sense. Try try try to convince her of the benefit of this (no matter how difficult it is) but ultimately i do think this is a matter which i would be prepared to make a stand over. (it may be that when she sees that is the case she relents anyway?) Good luck