Fasting

[purpleroses]

DSD (17) has declared that she is now following a new diet that entails on alternate days of the week fasting by only eating one meal in the day (lunch). So every other day she's missing both breakfast and dinner.

I'm not happy about this. She's going on about the health benefits of this diet. But I don't think it sounds healthy and don't think it's a good example for the younger DCs to see her skipping meals. I don't really care if she skips breakfast but dinner is also a time we sit down together as a family.

Her weight is bordering on the overweight band so I'm not immediately concerned about her staving, but am fearful that this is part of an odd attempt to lose weight - she's a bit sensitive about her weight and says her Mum tells her she's fat. She lives with us every weekend and with her Mum in the week. I'm not sure what her Mum thinks of the fasting but their relationship is strained right now. My DH seems to be going along with it and I don't think feels that at her she he can force her to eat.

Would you let a teenage do this?

It sounds as though she's trying to get a handle on her weight, which is to be commended. I too would be sad/worried about the missing of the family meal - would it be worth asking her why she's picked that particular (fad) diet, and talking through some more sensible ways of managing her weight? Eg portion control.

how exactly do you plan on stopping her? at 17 the best you can do is direct her towards quality dieting advice on the internet/magazines etc., perhaps enrole her in a diet club of some kind, but other than that, she's in control of her own body and there's nothing you can do to force her to eat your meals.

Sounds like the 5:2 diet which has shown quite good results. The meal on the fasting days has to be below a certain number of calories.

Google it but I doubt it will do her any harm

In your household, is dinner the main meal when you all sit down together and lunch is less formal? If so, could you ask her to switch her meal from lunch to dinner? (This would be compatible with my understanding of the 5:2 diet.) So over the course of the weekend, she would only skip one meal (plus breakfast which you don't mind about). Would that address your main concern?

As faddy diets go I think this is no worse than some others she could be trying.

We vary a bit but mostly dinner (evening) is when e eat our main meal, though would usually sit down for lunch together too, whoever's in at least at the weekend.

Yes could suggest she eats dinner instead.

I spoke to DH about it this morning. He's hoping it's just a short lived craze - she's been at it about 2 weeks. He's also reluctant to tell her she has to eat as she's prone to blowing up - which is what she does regularly at her mum from what I can gather.

We've agreed to try a gentle approach for this weekend at least to talk to her about better ways of losing weight and see how it goes. DH thinks we should tell her she needs to come and join us at mealtimes even if she's not eating, but I'm concerned that makes more of a spectacle of her not eating which I'm worried will influence the younger DCs - my 10 year old DD in participle looks up to DSD a lot.

Yes I think this alternate day thing is a harsher version of the 5-2 diet thing. I'd just do much rather they all learn to eat healthily rather than binging and starving. She's scarcely overweight, if at all.

DSD's not even any good at it - she said she'd be missing dinner last night then weakened at the sight of a muffin out with friends, came back and said she would now need to swap round her fasting day as she'd broken it so wanted dinner, which had been eaten already as she'd said she wasn't eating, so she ate bread. So now she's doing her fasting today instead... Grrr. So she'll have missed two healthy dinners and had muffin and bread instead.

My DH also fasts, it's not as bad as it seems

I think it's tough but maybe rather than point blank stop her is there a way you could go along with her to a slimming class? A bit of moral support? I attend a class and can only praise it- I still eat full healthy meals and have lost 2.5 stone in a year.

I am more concerned that my 10 year old dsd wants to diet and thinks she's too fat!!

At 17 kids/ young women think they know their bodies. Maybe it's worth while as a pp said to aske her why that particular diet and is there anything you could do at the weekend to make healthier choices / take up an activity together or something?

Or even tell her your not 100% in agreeable with her choice and ask her to do her fast days when she is at her mums so he can enjoy mealtimes with you guys?

Good luck xx

Does she exercise? She won't get far weight wise only controlling her diet.

Did try having a chat with her today. She denies that she's doing it to try and lose weight and just days it's because it's "healthy"

She has agreed to eat her meal on the evening today, which at least means she's getting a main meal.

Unsure what to do beyond that though. She does go quite a lot of exercise (so may not really be overweight, even though she's marginally into the overweight band on height weight charts) There's a zumba class I sometimes go to that she might like but it's midweek when she's with her mum.

I don't think suggesting she does her fasting days all in the week would go down well with anyone. This is very much the DSC's weekend home, we don't treat them (or expect them to behave like visitors)

I don't think it's a healthy diet and was really only tryin to find a solution that makes it led of an awkward position for you. Teens can be stubborn and maybe the best thing is just to try to support her - you have told her and advised her on what you think and since she is 17 I don't know what else you can really do.

Hopefully others have sound advice xx

Led I mean less *stoopid phone!

I'd keep an eye but let her get on with it.
All of my teen diets lasted about a week :p

Have your main meal at lunch for a bit? I don't think it's fair to ask her to have her only meal at dinner time as then she has to fast all day. or insist she has a small portion of dinner.

To be honest as she's only with you at weekends you'd struggle to enforce her stopping. I'd be happy she's told you about her diet, I'd go through phases of really unhealthy dieting and not tell my mum because otherwise she'd try and stop me, resulting in me chucking up my dinner or hiding food. I wasn't skinny, I wasn't over weight, I was on the larger side of healthy but thought I was fat, so I'd suddenly decide I needed to crash diet then not care for a month and then suddenly have a week of not eating at all, it's much better that you're kept aware of what she's doing so you can see if she's doing it in a healthy way.