My OH is bonkers!!

[Elizabeth120914]

We are expecting a baby in September. OH last night announces he has loads of experience in parenting and needs no help!

OH has no experience of babies he thought it may be able to climb out of the cot... Dsd didn't turn up until she was 5 he is clueless!

Dsd now 11 isn't an easy child. We have her at the weekend but she doesn't do basic things like flushing the toilet, her personal hygiene leaves something to be desired and only want to come to us if something is offered that she 'wants' or an activity she wants to do this has to be per-arranged before she decides!!

He's a great guy but how can someone be so deluded I nearly keeled over!! When I pointed out the above he looked a little puzzled but had to admit i might have a point. Absolutely hysterical.. No wonder some of these relationships are so hard surely being a parent is about discussing hygiene, clothes etc I butt out I'm aunty/ figure not parent but I feel for the child as people must talk if she goes to their houses i know she does the same at MILs etc.

My dh was always a lot more involved than your dh when his dd was younger, by the sounds of it, but for various reasons, didn't have her overnight regularly until she was 3.5. It genuinely escaped his mind to remember things like teeth, hair washing, etc, because he just hadn't had to do it. He also thought, before the arrival of our dd, that he'd be ok, but he had a shock in store - don't think he was expecting to have to do all the night changes for starters

Still, he's learnt v quickly, and his relationship with his older daughter is better for it too.

My DH had lived f/t with his DCs until he split with their DM when youngest was about 6. It was about 3 years later that I was helping youngest DSS get ready for bed and reminded him to do his teeth, to which he replied "oh no, I only do that at mummy's house" Three years of coming every weekend and DH hadn't realied that he'd never yet done his teeth!

So even if they are living with the DCs, if they're not ever in the primary carer role, that role doesn't necessarily start.

My exH refused to come to NCT classes with me because he "knew it all" (dsd was 13 at the time). He refused to come to anything actually, even the social events.

Turned out he didn't have a clue and we split up when DS was 2.5 because he was an intolerant arse.

You may have had children before and even if you do basically know what to do - his DD is 11. If she is his only child other than your impending arrival - a lot can change in 11 years. And even if you know exactly what your doing, any parent knows that any offer of help is a godsend (as long as it's not the interfering type). Never turn it down :)

It's hysterical he never even changed a nappy he literally hasn't got a clue! She arrived at 5 so he's no experience of babies or sleepless nights it's going to be very funny to watch!!

I think he's probably in denial! Surely he must realise he doesn't know things. Let him learn on the Job! It'll be a steep learning curve! X

My oh also is deluded on that front. He hasn't had his children since the age of 1.5 and newborn. From that point he has seen them only on a part time basis (round one or two overnights a week) so there's a hell of a lot he has not yet experienced in terms of potty training, school runs, baths every night, two kids running around the house, constant messy house, school runs, doctors appointments and then some. You can't tell them though they know everything

Il let him work it out... It's just so funny to think someone can be so deluded!!

Be interesting to see how it pans out as I keep out of the rules with dsd but things will be totally different from now on lol !

Her mother decided not to tell anyone about her.. Surprises!!!

Mmmmm a very large one.. It means that there is no experience and little influence over weekends since then we have no say in anything. Values and standards are very very far removed from ours so think it will be very interesting to see how we go!

There's been a few chats I think it will be interesting to see how dsd reacts too as to how different it will all be..

OH doesn't like a lot about dsd and definitely the up bringing but we have to make of it what we can. It's like she comes into a different world at weekends and she finds it difficult to fit in already without us trying to make her, but at the same time there's no way me or OH will have alot of what goes on with dsd at her mums obviously talking years ahead now wonder what she will make of that..?

OP sorry but my 16 yo dss doesn't flush the toilet! Or do ANY chores, or chew with his mouth closed or eat much other than chips, burgers and chicken nuggets. I don't understand it, at all. Now dreading trying to bring DD up to be clean, mannerly and respectful with a DH who clearly places no value whatsoever on such character traits. Really didn't think it through at all!

Lol me neither clearly!! I find it horrific! There's a serious emphasis on clothes and makeup but not clean hair, body or teeth.. Very scary indeed!

There's going to be a lot of bathing from a very early age.. Saying that if I don't hide OHs socks they can be recycled I must be mad too..!!