Background is DH and I have been together for many years, we have one DC together. DH has two DC from a previous relationship (one doing GCSEs and one at Uni). ExW has consistently stone walled DH in any attempts to communicate on any subject, whether it be co parenting, money, access, anything. I must add we have always paid child maintenance above the required amount consistently with no breaks whatsoever, so no reason for this behaviour for financial reasons. Any attempt by OH to speak to her is ignored, we have to send letters registered post to ensure we know she has got the info, she will not answer the phone, respond to emails and when DH collects the SC she is always out (or hiding behind the sofa!). I might add we are not regularly contacting her and he doesn't want to stand there chin wagging or anything, it's just once every so often (maybe even once a year!) to confirm something (I promise we are not stalking the woman!!). Anyway, DH has pretty much given up and just communicates through the SC.
So recently SC (let's call her Kate) wants to go on school trip over seas that will involve air travel. Unfortunately said trip is cancelled and Kate is disappointed. Kate is very huffy and basically a very stroppy teenager over the whole thing, which goes on for months. We all try to explain these things happen and the school or college will do another trip. Anyway Kate is a bit like a dog with a bone on this issue. It keeps coming up.
A bit more background, BIL is royal pain in the whatsit. Very judgemental about second marriages and pretty much everything. Very pompous and self opinionated. He also loves to pry and stir things up. He's the kind who will pick on someone in a social gathering in quite a nasty way but say its just a joke, but not very funny for the person in question. When I first met him he used to say things when DH stepped out of the room that were really stirring. Of course we were in the early stages of our relationship and didn't feel like I could say anything at the time, looking back I now know exactly what he was up to and have vowed to myself to call him out on it in future! SIL is very gossipy and also loves to stir (great couple!) within ten minutes of meeting me she was slagging off the ExW whom she had known for a long time. I refused to join in as I didn't think it was fair and kept changing the subject. I think she gave up with me in the end as I wasn't any fun! I've always thought if they can do it with you they'll do it too you, so knew she wasn't to be trusted from the get go. So not the nicest of couples. I've always had a suspicion that they have been passing on gossip about DH and I over the years even though SIL says she doesn't like ExW (I suspect SIL might have been trying to get me to say something negative about ExW so she could pass it on). Anyway over the years have just shrugged my shoulders and gone 'whatever'. They live overseas so we don't see them really.
So recently DH tells me that ExW has contacted him to ask if he is okay with SC flying over to see BIL and SIL for the weekend as SC missed out on a trip.
This has really got my goat and I'm trying to put my finger on why I feel so peeved. I've come up with the following possibilities:
Ex has totally ignored DH for years and years and now suddenly communication is okay because she says so!
Don't trust BIL and SIL not to stir up problems with SC.
Annoyed that 'Kate' gets to stamp her foot and demand a trip somewhere when others are lucky to get a holiday in the UK let alone abroad. I might add Kate gets at least two Uk holidays a year!
Why can't Ex take her on holiday overseas and let DH arrange something with his own family if HE chooses to. I could understand it if she got on really well with DHs family but she made it clear she didn't like them and they basically have consistently said they didn't like her.
I'm going to try to detach from this one and I do totally own my own feelings of annoyance, I'm just trying to understand why it's got me peeved. Maybe it's all of the above. What do you lovely people think?
I must make it clear i am not the OW btw :-)