Feeling a bit 'meh' and want to let off steam.

[alwaystryingtobeafriend]

So DP and I have been together almost 3 years living together 6 months and he has 2 kids girl 10 and boy 7.

He was married for 8 years and separated for 2 before he met me. He has no intention of going back as she wasn't the best wife. (She was just seeing if the grass was greener)

I get on well with the kids most of the time and it been a massive change for us all since I moved in. DP has kids half the time which I think is great. There have been a few times the kids mum makes everyone's life a bit difficult and I always try my best to not get too involved as kids Are not mine albeit I love them very much. I have also told kids on various occasions I'm not a replacement to their mum and to think of me more as a friend/auntie type person in their life. This has always been well received.

I have up quite a lot to move in - I moved a distance from home leaving behind friends and close family, my job became difficult as I have to commute (not easy finding another) and I do a lot of housework and making meals( my own fault really). I feel like I have given up quite a lot to have this 'family life' and there just doesn't seem to be enough compromise. I feel like I am always the one giving up things.

The kids never really help out, they leave everything at their backsides, DP is by no ways disney but he is really defensive of the kids(which is fair enough) but he doesn't seem to get that sometimes the kids annoy me, so when I snap or react to something I feel like an outcast in my own home. DP has no problems with me telling the kids off if they need it but He also goes in a huff when I tell him I don't think kids deserve something because their behaviour has been bad over recent weeks. I just don't think treating them is how you reward that kind of behaviour.

I know I chose a life to be with a man with kids but he also chose to be with me who has no kids so why do I feel like I am always adapting to suit him and the kids. He never seems to see anything from my point of view and that sometimes just sometimes I need a break form all the running around and doing things their way.

I'm not looking for any answers or advice really - just wanting to get it off my chest and vent. I have tried speaking to DP but sometimes it's like talking to a brick wall especially when we talk about the kids.

An breathe haha. X

Totally know how you feel. In in a similar position. It's very hard as obliviously OHs feel differently towards the kids than we do and have years of a relationship built up with them too before we were ever around.

I do all the house work, washing cleaning etc and no one notices! I've made a rod for my own back but it does annoy me when OH and the kids don't ever offer to help.

I don't tell his daughter off at all I haven't taken the parent role. Il only say something if she does something directly disrespectful to me like she threw something at me once and I said don't that's rude. I find it a very uncomfortable place to tell her off so tend to avoid.

It can feel like being a stranger in your own home sometimes I find it tough as I pay all bills 50-50 including food etc so i support her as much as oh when she is here which when she is not being pleasant or stressful can be hard to take.

I've found the best thing is to step back. I'm trying to take my own advice not and spend time on my own sometimes when they are here. OH likes it to be all one family but I don't enjoy being all together the whole time especially when it's my only time off at the weekend being dominated so I'm going to start doing my own thing a bit hopefully it will take the pressure off and meet some new people as I'm new to the area.

Don't think there is a magic solution it's really tough and fairly thankless mostly! I did get a Mother's Day present which was nice and we do some stuff on our own without dad sometimes but it's hard

I'm glad it's not just me.

I treat the kid like my niece and nephew as they are of similar age and I only really discipline if DP is not around and they are acting up. Its even more frustrating when the don't even listen an think that because your not their mum they don't need to listen to you. DP has told them that when they are here to treat me with respect and that I am an authority in the house too and we support each other's decisions.

I too make a rod for my own back with cleaning etc but it's kind of a release for me. It gets me out the way for a bit. DP get annoyed that I do so much - he's does things when he is ready and. Ido things straight away as I hate a mess.

I too need to go out more and try and make new friends but it's so hard with no one to go with. And DP is a bit or a hermit sometimes. I love doing things with DP and don't really like going out without him. He's my best friend/soulmate and it feels weird.

I like time on my own when kids are here and it annoys hi when I go to the room as read. He thinks we should all be together all the time.

I just feel a bit lonely here sometimes and I know DP tried hard.

I just wish he could understand my feelings towards the kids and it's north a I don't like them or love them because I do. It's just sometimes I need him to be on my side for once.