I am finding it difficult to cope being a stepmum

[confused123]

Hi all, I have just come across this site and need some help. I have been with my partner for 14 years and have been having his 3 children stay every other weekend and school holidays most of this time. However their mum died suddenly last february and we have the two yongest now living with us (aged 16 and 17). I am trying so very hard to make it work and try and understand what these poor kids are going through but we have had so many problems with them that i am just finding it so hard to cope and feel like screaming all the time - is this normal ? I also feel like the bitch from hell for even feeling like this.

Are you getting time for yourself and with your partner? How about booking a weekend break with a friend or something? It is a huge change in your life and to suddenly be living with two traumatised teenagers must be hard. Obviously they are having a much harder time, losing their mum, but I'm sure you don't need anyone to tell you that.

Thanks for the advice thats a good idea about the break. My partner and I do try and find some time together but we seem to have to work about 10 times harder now at our relationship - which i think is probably what all new families have to do

It's a sad thing that's happened, and you are probably the only person not getting any sympathy. If you are having to support other people a lot - and I'm sure you are - I think you need your own reserves to help you achieve that, and a short holiday or break might help you get your breath back.