So many of you who frequent the step parenting boards will be aware of my situation, dsd is 10 with learning disabilities and moved to live us last year after being abused at her mums. We split the care and parenting of her 50/50 as that's what works best for all 3 of us.
I am 18 weeks pregnant with my first, dps 4th.
She was being a bit moany when I put her to bed so I reminded her that she must stop moaning at me because it upsets me and we need to be ultra nice to each other because we're very lucky that we get a best friend and a step mum/ sister so we have to be extra lovely. She said but I could be your real daughter and you could be my real mum.
I didn't really know what to say, she's been through a lot of difficulties with her mum recently and is starting to notice how little her mum cares about her which isn't nice for her. So I just said is that what you want? She said well its your choice, is that what you want? and I said that it's totally up to her and that I am happy with whatever she chooses, and that if she wants two mummies then that's ok.
I think it's a combination of how rejected she feels by her real mum, how she sees me doing everything for her (cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, cuddles, going shopping, disciplining...) and the new baby coming, as she loves the fact that we're 'a little family' as she says.
Did I do the right thing? I think if I'd said no she wouldn't have understood and would have gotten upset thinking I don't want to be her mummy. Which I do, because she's got such a shit one and I love her to bits, I just don't know if that was the right thing to say in response to a child? I doubt shel act any differently to normal it was just something she obviously had been thinking about.