Dsds mum pregnant

[Alita7]

So dsd 3 (10 with asd and other learning disabilities) lives with us after being moved to us by ss due to abuse she suffered while living at her mums.
Her Mum and partner have 2 younger kids together who have no been removed as they weren't personally abused, that we know of anyway, they are on the at risk register.
Yesterday we had a court thing (deliberately vague sorry) where they were ordered to pay a court fine, at the end they contested paying this fine because they haven't got much money and told the judge she was pregnant again.

I am 18 weeks pregnant myself, dsd is extremely excited and can't wait. She loves her younger siblings but had a very bad experience when they were born as she was very much pushed out and not included. I understand that her learning disabilities make it hard to include her in baby stuff safely at times but it seems it was more pushing her out of their new little family than anything else. We have assured her she will included as much as possible and she is aware of what she will and won't be able to do or help with.
She doesnt know her mum is pregnant but I am worried that it will confuse her for 2 reasons, she may feel even more pushed out as obviously she can't live there, and I think the two babies at a similar time will confuse her a bit.
Further more she is only allowed supervised contact so spends eow at a family members and sees her mum and siblings there, they have a habit of cancelling contact so I'm worried that when their babies come her mum won't want to take the new baby all the way over the other side of town and that dsd won't get to see them for some time.

I know I just need to see how this plays out, I just hope she is Ok with it and it doesn't impact on her negatively. But I know that whatever happens she will have a stable family life here.

It's just really bothering me that she's gotten pregnant again... partly because she's been complaining about bedroom tax since dsd left, so it may be just to avoid that, and part of me wonders if she's gotten pregnant because I am (no idea how far along she is) and to confuse dsd, especially as she likes to make everything a competition!

Wow the woman gets worse!!!

I guess option 3 is it'd all BS and she is saying it to get out of paying?!

Your poor dsd, talk about how to make the child feel like she has been replaced by a better/newer model.

Hope she is ok hun!!

well the judge didn't budge on the payment he was very no nonsense! :)
But dp thought it could be a lie to get out of it, but then I had a sneaky suspicion when she was on the witness stand, she'd clearly put on weight and had this cardigan wrap thing and kept pulling It round her belly... so I think It could be true...

She may be a very good actor and thought if she playedit up the sudden confession would hold water?!

EEither way she is a fucking nightmare and I hope you dsd is not too traumatised by her!!

You sound lovely an dsd is lucky to have you! :)

Aww Alita, I can relate to some of what you've written. DSD lives with us too and her mum went on to have another child. Dsd's sibling lives with his dad also. Mum is one of those who likes the idea of kids but isn't prepared to put in the work.

From what I see from your posts, you and your DP are doing a fantastic job with raising her. She has a secure, loving home with you both and that's the main thing.

Continue with what your doing because you can't go far wrong from there.

Thanks for your replie, and reassurances!

I wonder if she will tell her this weekend as she went over this morning instead of last night because of the court case.

I do think she isn't making it up, at least I hope she wouldn't knowing that there's a possibility we would tell her (we won't, dsd needs to hear from her, but she doesn't know that!)

I just hope that dsd who is very innocently minded, just sees this as a good thing and doesn't think she's being replaced. Fingers crossed she'll be too distracted by our baby to notice being pushed out by them.

Hobin, my dad's cousins ex is like that! It just reminds me of shameless!
This woman is happy caring for the kids she's got but has her dad round a hell of a lot to help her out... she struggled a lot with dsds ld and obviously the more pushed out and unwelcome dsd felt the worse her behaviour got when she lived there so in the end once ss told us she was definitely coming to us, she (who never speaks to us unless at meetings, communication is always through her other family members) was ringing us regularly asking us to take her Immediately while we were looking for a new place near her school because she was too much work.... I must say that we don't have many of the problems she had and if we do its a rare occurance, she's generally a lovely, amicable, child.
She told a friend years ago that special needs children weren't her thing...
So clearly she didn't fit into her and her new partners ideals so couldn't be part of their family.

Oh well good luck to the woman, now she'll have 3 under 4 to manage and I hope it hurts if she ever hears dsd calling me Mummy (she doesn't but she has asked if she is allowed to when the baby is born as she wants to teach the baby :p had a chat with dp and we agreed that she can call me what she wants as long as she's happy!)

Argh it gets worse.... she went over to a family members(well we met him in town) Saturday morning instead of Friday because of the court case. she came home tonight and has apparently only seem her mum and sisters this afternoon!

The contact is meant to be through family but not for family members, she is supposed to be seeing her mum and sisters each day! They just don't give a shit!