scream or cry

[wheresthelight]

So the dsc's have been little sods all day, not doing as their are asked by me or anyone else, playing up, being down right bloody rude to a friend of mine

Told dp when he got home and was told he "would deal with it". So kids get in from my mum's (she graciously had them for a hour for me so i could get some housework done) and he is all best fucking pal's with them and laughing and joking about them being in trouble.

I could fucking kill him! Thanks so much dear for undermining me AGAIN and for doing the complete opposite of your promise

Sorry need to vent here or I am likely to tell him and his bloody kids what I really think tonight

Ah yes. I actually find that the kids turn on the charm with DH when they know they are in the doghouse with me, and he actually falls for it. They can do something dreadful, and he agrees that it needs to be dealt with, but then they come to him all smiles and sucking up and he just acts as if nothing ever happened in the first place. He even acknowledges that they're doing it! But it seems on those occasions he is incapable of being enough of a parent to actually follow through.

SOrry, no advice, just sympathy.

Thanks brdgrl!! Glad it's not just me!

I could ring his bloody neck tonight!!!

When you tell him, he will deny everything, then tell you you're exaggerating.

Give it to him straight.

I told my DP her DD was pissing on us, excuse the language, and by her not doing anything they were pissing on me.

That analogy seems to have worked. In terms of getting the message across, no idea about the results.

To be fair he will admit he is being an arse! He's been at work all week so he is feeling guilty that he hasn't seen them.

As predicted he was "knackered and not in the mood" dis bluntly point out that isn't an excuse for not parenting HIS kids.

Neither of the kids has apologised to me or spoken to me since he got home yesterday. Think he was pissed off that I slept on the sofa last night but the baby and dsd share a room and the baby was up pretty much all night so I had her downstairs rather than keep everyoneawake. Think she ffinally went to sleep at 3 and woke up at 550... Exhausted is not the word!!

Oh the joys - luckily for my my DP is ok with me telling off his kids if necessary. I try not to because they ain't mine but sometimes they need a telling there and then not when daddy is around. I always tell DP and he is really good with stuff like that - we agree that we support each other's decisions for any form of punishment and we have also told their mum (much to her dislike) that if I as or tell them to do something it's expected they do it. Just like they would a teacher or other adult in their life. I don't get left with kids that often on my own and when I do they seem to be ok. Maybe you had DP need to talk about how it works in your house and what you both expect. Maybe it's gone on too long and it's not easy I dunno. I new to step parenting so my advice may not be relevant . Hope you get it sorted though xx

Thanks Ali

Dp is good in terms of i am allowed to tell the kids off and administer punishment as I see fit but it's when he comes home and I have grounded them/sent to their rooms and he then goes in all pally pally and makes out like I am being mean etc. It's the exact behaviour he condemns his exw for doing when they were together which is what I think really pisses me off

Ah I see- I've experienced that too and it's bloody frustrating. At least tree is somewhere to vent it out (here) and always others in the same boat. Not that it helps resolve the situation. Maybe a wee chat with DP about it and explain how you feel. It might not change anything but at least he will know what's wrong if you don't talk to him for the rest of the day xx

Haha yes I do love coming here to vent!! The ladies are always fab!!

We have chatted and he knows how I feel but it just doesn't sink in!

Both. Scream and cry and stamp you're feet. Then storm off to your room and don't speak to your partner (despite his many, many attempts to reconcile) for a few weeks/months. I found my DH to be hugely responsive to his youngest daughter, when she behaved this way. It may prove successful for you?

Haha might give it a whirl!