Hi I've name changed for this and changed a few minor details as I don't talk about this on MN and don't want it to out me...
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant, I live with my DP and my 6 year old DSD.
DP has a just turned 3 year old son with his ex, not DSD's Mum, who I met for the first time today unexpectedly. She left him when she was pregnant and allowed him to see him on her terms until he was about 18 months old when she found out he had a girlfriend (me). Since she found out about me, who she hadn't met until today and as we didn't have any mutual friends, she couldn't know much about me, she refused to let him see him, and he isn't on the birth certificate so he didn't think he had rights. She has borderline personality disorder, which may account for this behaviour considering they had been broken up a long time when I appeared and so there was no reason for her to feel this way.
She did occasionally say she would meet him in town and let him take him to the park for a bit, but each time she has cancelled last minute. She regularly changes her number and doesn't tell dp until she wants something, so he goes through long periods of time where he cannot contact her to ask to see him.
So he didn't see him at all between 18 months and today and neither did DSD, so this was very emotional for him and surprisingly for me too.
We bumped into them in Tesco's (odd as she doesn't live here) and DSD was so happy and excited and she actually stood and talked to us for 15 minutes, suddenly acting all amicable and pleasant towards both of us, despite all the abusive texts and voice mail messages she's sent over the past year and half whenever he's tried to see him, saying all sorts of things directed at me and him. But I felt so angry at her, despite putting on a smile because I knew I had to, I've seen the pain dp has gone through and seeing her made me not only angry but also upset, especially seeing dp picking up his son and being able to interact and dsd playing with him... which she was surprisingly encouraging. He asked to see him this weekend, and she seemed like she felt she couldn't say no, maybe because dsd was there? and she said he could pick him up at 11 on Saturday for few hours, which I am really glad about but also a bit apprehensive as she's cancelled so many times before so I'm worried it will cause him more hurt. But then maybe she will let him this time because she said so in front of dsd?
PS despite how pleasant she was I know dp wasn't exaggerating about how she is, I've seen so many text conversations (as they were happening, with me advising dp on how to reply) and listened to the phone calls.
I just feel really confused, low and angry after meeting them, I don't know if this was a good thing or not and Dps clearly been feeling out of sorts since the meeting. I just wanted to vent really as I just want that little boy to be a part of our family, but equally she has caused a lot of trouble for dp so he's very wary of the fact that having him in his life, means she is as well... so while he's desperate to see him regularly, we're also worried that our live is going to get messy... So many emotions!