What to tell DSS?

[LightUpPenguin]

DSS's mum has decided to drastically reduce the contact between DH and DSS. They were previously seeing each other twice a week with overnight stays, it's been the same routine for the last 3 years so DSS is definitely going to notice now that he will only be seeing his dad once a month as will my DD as they absolutely adore one another.

DH has sought a solicitor as his ex has refused mediation but in the meantime we don't know what to tell DSS about why he's not coming here. We don't want him to feel like it's because we don't want him here and we have no idea about what DSS's mum has told him. In the past when DSS's mum has withheld contact, we've lied and just told him mummy has plans with him. However that has only been over a few days, and once DH has toed the line then contact has resumed however we have been told it will probably be months before it's sorted, however we can request interim contact but not until the first hearing.

to anyone that can offer help. DSS is 7 btw.

Get your solicitor to write to her requesting access be restored before you resort to court.

If she's just miffed or just being deliberately awkward it may jolt her back into business as usual. I'd still follow up the court route.

It may be DSS said something to mum along the lines of enjoying being at dad's and she's taken that as a challenge.

So just keep spinning the 'Mum wants to spend more time with you' for now?

So sorry for your dss that this is happening!

Could you say that you're sorry you can't see him so much at the moment, that you really want to see him lots more but that you can't control it and are trying to get something sorted out so you can get back to normal. I would either not mention his Mum or just say she has told you that she wants to spend more time with him.

Thanks for your replies. We are going to get a second letter sent out about attending mediation as DH wants to see DSS more - they agreed 3 years ago that they would step up to 2/3 overnights a week, as well as some time in the holidays and alternating Christmas and birthdays. This hasn't happened - and every time it comes to 'our' turn, she has decided to stop contact about a week before the event citing some inane reason (my favourite one being that we don't know how to feed DSS as we took him to the local fete the weekend before his birthday and he had the BBQ there for lunch, so DH was then not allowed to have DSS for two weeks).

I think we will just carry on saying that his mum wants to spend more time with him right now but he is always welcome here and if he wants to call DH he just has to ask his mum. DH has been told he is no longer allowed to call on Tuesday and Thursdays like he used to Would you still try and ring or would that exacerbate things further? Or would a court think DH is not trying hard enough if he stops calling whilst this is going on?