Ever moved out? Did you go back?

[BuzzLightbulb]

Morning.

Just wondering whether any of you SP's have ever taken time away from your DP and step family?

Did you ever go back? Did anything change as a result?

Got that bad has it?not surprised you are asking that with all you've been through

Mums

There's more sh1t than just the DSD issue, some of it my fault. But I genuinely thought we were through that and coming out the other side.

It's like DP has some sort of self destruct button.

But yes, DSD swanning around as if nothing's happened and having got away with it yet again is driving me nuts. I can't look at her and think positive thoughts about her.

I needed the space we'd agreed, I needed DSD to have that moment of clarity where she realised this wasn't going to go away by itself and that, finally, she had to take responsibility for her actions and the consequences. That hasn't happened, and I know sure as eggs are eggs she will be back to her old habits in a day or two.

I would have left DSD at her dad's house for a few days, even if he was away working and she had to fend for herself for a couple of days. A little thinking time might have done her some good.

But so what if we agreed all that? What does it matter? After all, I'm not her parent so what's it to do with me?

No, I haven't. I've always tried to make the peace/step away/encourage DH to sort his dd out. To no avail. The resentment and constant arguing has killed our once wonderful relationship.

If I had somewhere safe to take my own ds (who now lives in a second home where the adults don't speak and sleep in separate rooms) I would leave. Come back? I couldn't begging to imagine that.

I've read your other posts OP. You do need some space from all of this.

I couldn't BEGIN. Sorry, typos.

If I go, I know I'll be blamed for DSD thinking it's her fault and getting all upset.

How ironic.

So, I would be beyond caring

You're "the bad guy" anyway. Sorry, not helpful but you KnOW you have to walk away from this, if only for a break.

Couldn't bring myself to do it, just kept thinking what DSS will think. He's a lovely lad and we get on really well.

So I stayed out of the house for the evening, had dinner by myself while DSD was out seeing b/f and sat in the bedroom with the ipad for the rest of the evening.

Bedtime DP decides she wants to talk about things which just made me more angry and I think it's fair to say she has a clearer understanding of how I feel now

Can't see a way forward, cannot see myself in the house all weekend. Need to get some flat viewings organised I think.

You are the "male version of me". That was my evening, precisely. I wish you luck. You have a very long, emotional road ahead of you.

Raging argument going on downstairs between DP and Dsd1

Quotes of the night so far

"So he pays for the house, so do you"

"I've been in this family way longer than him"

"So I had sex in the house, stop mentioning it. Get over it"

I'm guessing she's come to terms with what she's done then. Not. Usual high pitched screams of indignation at the whole world being against her.

Can't really put a distance I'd like to be from her right now. Cannot imagine spending the weekend in this atmosphere.

Oh and now it's all about me.

She's never liked me, she has a friend who doesn't speak to her mum anymore because of her partner, does DP want to end up like that?

And the more she gets defensive the more extreme it gets, and the less welcome I feel.

Time to go.

I think you should go. It will be better for you and better for them too.

Aye.....

Apparently she has been so ufairly treated, never given a break , nobody understands her, she does do what she's asked.

Typical 16 yr old I guess in some ways, but with added venom and bile.

Don't think DP has the stomach for the fight, or the courage to send her to her dad's on Monday when the other two go for their week there.

On the plus side might just get lunch with my own daughter on Saturday which should be a nice distraction.