Next chapter for those of you who read my post about SD and her b/f shagging in the house....
Having tried to lie her way out of that, it seems she can't stop herself now.
We thought we had made it clear on the night that b/f wasn't welcome in the house until we had had time to come to terms with what had happened and decide how to move forwards. That wont happen for a cpl weeks as we have too much on our hands with the other DSC's being with us for now. We chose not to tell his parents what had happened.
DSS told us this morning that b/f was here yesterday when he came home from school then scarpered pretty quickly. SD was supposed to be studying.
Today she's supposed to be studying again, but has now left the house supposedly to check on her cat at her dads house. I overheard her on facetime arranging to meet her friend, she does tend to shout. When I asked her if she was really going to meet friend she denied it. Cat visit should take half an hour or so, I'll guess she's back in about three hours cos no doubt friend will want to be home before her parents get home and find her not studying too!
She used not to lie at all.
I'm thinking we need to bring forward the Big Chat with her and her boyfriend, and let his parents know why he's currently banned from our house, what rules we will be putting in place from now on and if they want to do anything atbtheir house that's up to them.
It's not the shagging incident that's the issue, huge shock that it was they're old enough, it's the denial, and the screaming abuse that are the big issues. Plus she doesn't seem to be aware of how much trouble she's in and the consequences are still to come her way, told to be home from b/f's at 1030 the next night she came in at 11.
Is a clear the air talk and resetting the boundaries the way to restore some trust? Obviously there's a velvet glove element here, having crossed a line we hadn't even thought of already. Do we make it clear that if we can't trust her to stick to the new rules, something will hit the fan big time?
Or do we go more softly softly and hope life returns to normal?