Safeguarding a friends daughter from her step father

[yogagirl22]

Hi all,
I have browsed on her for a while for lots of good advice. After searching specifically, I have started a new thread to get some wisdom on what to do about a sensitive situation.
I have a dear friend, and I am also close to her husband (as is my DH, I guess you could say that we are a foursome as we all go out and socialise). However, my friend has a 12 year old daughter still at home and is now remarried to our friend. I love them both and they are good people. They really helped me out recently when my own marriage was in a very bad way (thankfully resolved).
But, the husband/stepdad is really horrible to the little girl and I do not know what to do.... especially as my friend has now started to kind of join in. Its like she has been brainwashed into believing the crap that he tells the little girl.
Am I being over sensitive or should I be concerned?
It not anything abusive (although maybe? emotionally it is damaging her self esteem).
Basically, she has an older daughter too - now left that home because of the picking/nastiness. The older daughter will have nothing to do with her Mum now, citing that it is the step dad that drove her away at 17 and her mum did nothing to stick up for her.
Me and another friend have tried to call our female friend up on it but our friend gets incredibly defensive of her Husband. Claiming that the kids are badly behaved etc etc. and that he is a brilliant stepdad! Er NO
I have spoken to my friends 12 year old daughter, when I looked after her recently in the school holidays, and told her she can confide in me in confidence and if she ever needs someone to listen to her, and basically she confided that it is really getting her down. It is very awkward being around my couple friend when she is around as he continually puts her down, as it very tyrannical to her. She is the sweetest girl, okay a bit cheeky like all 12 year olds but she gets snapped at/ picked on/put down/ criticised for no reason at all. For example she tries to join in a conversation and gets shouted at not to speak/shut up/ what the hell do you know about it. I have never seen them complement her or show any real love. I am very concerned that my friend will lose both her daughters at the expense of keeping her husband happy.
What would you do? Shall I risk my friendship with some good friends ? Maybe speak anon to the 12 year olds school?
I had a terrible childhood with a dominant and tyrannical controlling father and feel that this lovely girl will rebel and turn out doing something bad, as that is what she is always being told?
Please give me some useful advice I hate to think of her unhappy
Thanks

I'm glad you stepped in. My mother is an awful woman, and she did these kinds of things to me too. And it got worse. I still see the hurt she caused reflected in the way my brother and I act, or the things we're still self-conscious about. In that situation, children really do need another adult to stand up for them. Because really, what can a child do against 2 adults ganging up and bullying them?

I hope they take the opportunity to really think about their behaviour, for the little girl's sake.

I think it's a good thing you said something but don't kid yourself that anything will change for the girl. People who are able to behave like that don't "take a long hard look at themselves, ever" (voice of sad experience)

I would suggest you make the school aware but there really isn't anything else you can do since you are no longer in contact with them, but maybe mutual friend can provide her with a safe place to go sometimes.