need to vent please be nice!

[wheresthelight]

My dsc's are amazing!! They are funny and smart and great fun to be around most of the time. They are massively lacking in manners but dp is working on it, his exw apparently doesn't believe on the word no and doesn't insist on cutlery at the dinner table and is ok with fingers - the kids are 10 and 8.

However they seem to always have nits. We thought we had got rid by full marks'ing them every week when we have them and religiously combing. However due to holidays and exw request to cancel a contact night we hadn't seen them for just over 2 weeks when we picked them up on Friday night. Dsd (8) brushes her own hair and puts it in a bobble so I only need to do anything if she wants a plait which she did yesterday. Absolutely bloody covered in eggs and lice that could be seen without hassle or having to part her hair. So checked dss and he was just as bad.

I must have combed hundreds out of both of them last night and left the full marks on for over an hour to make sure the little buggers were dead (nits not the kids) - combed today and still getting eggs out but no live lice

Now my issue is exw said she had combed dsd on Friday and she was "clear" - I am no expert but I am guessing that for their to be adults, eggs and young lice she is either blind or didn't actually check and probably hasn't since they were last with us. I am livid as is dp. He hates that our contact is always filled with having to treat the kids and spending hours combing through their hair (he does dss while I do dsd) and no amount of discussion with exw seems to make a difference.

We have tried conditioner but exw refused to follow it through so it doesn't work, neem oil, tea tree etc I have bought stuff and sent it homeas I know it's not cheap and she always whinges she is skint (dp pays way over and above the csa amount amd we buy all school uniform, shoes etc and pay half of any school trips) but then she refuses to use it. I get on with his exw and would never ssy anything against her when the kids are in the house but the woman has to be an idiot for nit noticing surely?!! I have used all the branded stuff amdnnothing works. Help!!!

My mum suggested dettol but seems a tad weird! Anyone got any ideas please??!

Well checked them all week and nothing but the eggs must have hatched yesterday as found some very tiny lice today so another round of headrin tonight is in process and dp is going to have words on Friday! I am tempted to suggest we keep the kids til Saturday so I can do them again Friday night! But we have them again next Wednesday and then the bank holiday weekend so hopefully if I do them wed and Friday they should be clear again!! Just going to have to go back to weekly treating whether they need ot or not I think :-(

One awesome point being dsd telling me she feels better than she has in ages because her head doesn't itch!!! And thanking me!! Poor little thing

Hedrin is brilliant stuff and doesn't have the nasty smell either. I've noticed nits in DDs hair in the morning before school and put hedrin mousse in and sent her to school, then washed it off and combed before bed. Then repeat after 7 days. The mousse has something in it which breaks down the lice and eggs so can only be used once a week but it works great.

We had a rough couple of months as there was a child in DDs class whose parents weren't treating them and so dd kept getting them back after I'd got rid of them. I got the hedrin gel spray which suffocates them and used it every other day in between using the mousse every 7 days. We eventually for rid completely after about 6 weeks.

Just thinking about it makes my head itch!

Alberto balsam tea tree tingle shampoo and conditioner seems to help keep them away - dd hasn't had them since we got shot and started using this. Nits hate tea tree an this shampoo had a lovely smell.

Don't waste money in the hedrin conditioner which is supposed to prevent getting nits, as soon as I tried this my dd got nits for the first time in nearly two years.

My head is super itchy after trading this thread! No advice, just wanted to say you seem like a lovely step mum, OP :) poor little DSD saying she felt so much better because she didn't have am itchy head :(

*after reading this thread

Thanks hun! I will look into the gel spray cos at least the kids can do that themselves!! I have read tree shampoo here and sent stuff home for their mum to use but I have no idea if she bothers, judging by the state of their hair most weeks I doubt it!!!

It makes me cross on several levels a) cos the kids are suffering b) it shouldn't be my responsibility to have to educate the kids although dp does help when he isn't at work! C) I absolutely know the best thing forth kids o's for all the adults to get along (dp and exw new dp won't ever as he was om) and I genuinely try but when I see the mess of the kids to point dsd has bites on her neck from the nits I really do just want to shake her mum silly!

I love those kids as much as my own dd albeit in a different way and it breaks my heart to see the state of it. But they worship her as they should and so dp and I have to be careful how we teach them about stuff including wiping after going to the loo as it's really easy to say " mummy should have taught you a long time ago" so have to almost plan out the conversations!!

Aww agent thank you!! I do try very hard and often have to bite my tongue hard.

My head has been itching since Sunday! I bleached my hair on Sunday night and no way the little blighters survived that!!