So my religious family weren't overly keen on the idea of me dating someone with 3 kids already. But my parents have come round to the idea, and my dad's parents are being supportive while my mum's parents have made no comment to my face, but when my mum asked if I could come when they went over for dinner once, said only if she doesn't bring all that lot with her. I have no idea if he was joking as my mum is one to stir a bit. I haven't discussed it with my aunts and uncle's, only my Spanish aunt who was supportive probably because she is 16 years younger than my uncle (dp is 11 years older than me) and so could have in theory been in my situation.
Now I'm not too bothered if my extended family won't accept the situation, it's my parents, brother and dads parents who I am closest too - I will refer to them as close family from now on.
but what bothers me is that I have 3 dsds, the youngest one lives with us, and my close family are very accepting of dsd 3, they even had us over for Christmas at my nans with her and we all had a lovely time. But they barely acknowledge that dsd 1 and 2 exist. They are lovely girls, and parents have met them. Last week my nan invited us (me, dp and dsd 3) over for easter, i said we're not sure we can as well have the other 2 and she said oh no that would be too many. I can understand that there's a difference between having 1 extra child and 3, she also bought the 3 of us easter eggs which was lovely, but the other 2 obviously didn't get one. it just is difficult for me, they are all my family yet they are excluded from my bio family.
Dsd 3 had ld and lacks a concept of strangers so she is very chatty and overly excitable making her very easy for my family to include while dsd 1 and 2 are quite quiet with people they don't know, but my parents have only met them a couple of times so they haven't had the chance.
I think part of it is that my close family are seeing dsd 3 as my own child after seeing us together and how we interact, as she lives with me and treats me like a mother as there was a lot of trauma with her own mother (my family know the story and so probably feel sorry for her, as she had been through a lot, my mum has a couple of times accidentally called me mum to dsd). but even so I don't want to push the idea of dsd 1 and 2 into their lives and I am very grateful for how they have been with dsd 3. But it is just hard as they are excluded and I don't know what to do about it if anything?
does anyone have any advice or been in this situation?