Me and dp have been together a long time off and on, while on a off patch a few years ago he had a casual relationship and an accidental pregnancy.
The little girl is four now, all together we have six dc, one of which is ours and one ds is mine.
We used to live together but due to so many arguments a lot caused by dsd mum doing things like refusing to open her door and have dsd back after contact, and the way dp seems to idolise her over the rest of the dc it wasn't good for my dc living in a war zone. Dp has moved out since August and it's really got better. Instead of dreading him coming home from work every night im actually happy to see him.
So the way it works is we see each other most days, we have a date night once a week, he picks dd up from her club once a week and he is usually here Sundays. He has my dc eow with the rest of his kids which is lovely for them all. Sometimes I go round his for the weekend with them all but mostly I let them get on with it unless its a trip out.
My issue is the way he is with the dsd, Im not sure whether it's because I'm jealous he wasn't so close to dd when she was that age, or if he really does change. For instance if he's at my house with dsd he's irritable with me and picks arguments. He does things like comes in makes him and her hot chocolate but doesn't make dd and ds one or cooks for everyone but only dishes up dsd food and sits her on the sofa when he knows any dc in my house have to sit up to the table especially little ones.
It sounds so petty and I really can't work out if I'm making mole hills out of mountains, he's not like this with his other dc at all or if I just don't notice it as they're older. For instance we were all at the park a couple of weekends ago and he was pushing dsd on the swings then she got off and dd got on, dsd went on the slide clocked dd had got on the swing and started crying to be back on the swing, dp then put her on dds lap nd pushed them both. Am I a complete bitch for wanting dd to have 5 minutes with her dad?
This weekend was his weekend but as its mothers day I said have dd Friday instead, he's had his dd all week as her mother dropped her off last weekend said she's got late shifts all week so he has to have her. He completely forgot to pick dd up. He was supposed to come around today and help dd cook me dinner instead he turned up last night said he's still got dsd and will be spending the day with his mum.
When dsd mum is being difficult and with holding contact he's a completely different man. I wouldn't say he's a Disney dad who won't tell dsd off but she's the baby and she's cute and huggy. She's runs up and hugs you and tells you she loves you while dd is more Tom boyish and wanting to play with her brothers so she doesn't have a daddies princess role with him.
Is he always going to be like this, will this fade as dsd gets older or am I being jealous and petty?