Bathroom and laundry issues

[SidneyBristow]

I have a SD (10) and a SS (8) who seem to have issues getting themselves clean after going to the toilet. Both regularly leave poo streaks in their underpants and pajamas, and SD often leaves wee on the seat as she's in the habit of standing up before using toilet paper. As a result wee gets on the seat, floor, her knickers - and she is either unaware of it, or doesn't care.

I suspect they're both in too big a hurry to get back to whatever they were doing and so are careless with wiping. There are no issues with incontinence or constipation, and it happens when they're sick as when they aren't. We have loads of toilet roll and personal wipes and they've been told countless times how to use them and how to get their bottoms clean in the shower, and it isn't sinking in. DH keeps talking to them about it but usually they just nod and say they'll do better next time, and nothing really changes.

They're with us more than half the time, and I'm desperate to tackle this. Is this normal for ages 10 and 8? I don't want to humiliate them over this but neither do I want them sleeping in pooey pajamas, or thinking none of it matters since they aren't the ones cleaning it up. Healthwise, I'm concerned as they're both nail-biters and often have a good scratch down there and I'm worried about what they're inadvertently coming into contact with.

What would you suggest?

I think this is pretty normal for a lot of kids around that age even when there are no medical issues. You could say it was "laziness" and ultimately, I guess it is, but I suspect like you say it's more a case of impatience and no real appreciation of the health issues.

Think all you can do is keep on and on at them. Perhaps emphasise the hygiene aspect and "frighten" them with talk of germs. You might also want to say that "sometimes" having a dirty bum might actually make you smell - we had this with my SD for a while and had to have words . At 10 most girls would hate to think they smelt.

Otherwise, maybe a chart sort of thing with some small reward as an incentive if they keep clean clothes for a week .... or at least if you can see a significant improvement because I think you have to make some allowance for the fact kids that age can get into a "mess" e.g. if they have an upset stomach and maybe aren't adept at cleaning thoroughly.

If they don't seem to care are they bothering to wash their hands too ?

You have my sympathy because it isn't pleasant. TBH SD had this until early teens (no issues) and it really started to grate. The "words" DP had weren't strong enough because he was embarrassed but then again one stern talk might have ended it once and for all and no more talk would have been needed. I used to find pooey towels which really wasn't on.

I was going to ask the same, as not having children of my own, I am unsure at what age it is reasonable to expect the DSCs to remember to flush the toilet/put the seat down without being reminded?

We have 4 DCs - 13, 11, 9 & 7. They all clean themselves properly, there are never skid marks in pants or pyjamas. DC 7 does sometimes miss the toilet when weeing, but I make him get loo roll and wipe it up, and this is diminishing!

I would say that as soon as a child can use the toilet, he/she should be reminded to flush, and then it would become habit.

The thing that bugs me is when they don't clean off the streaks in the toilet after they've flushed.... an ongoing thing here!