DSD wants to live with me. what are my rights?

[Fairy1303]

DH and I have recently split.
DSD lived with us, we have been together 4 years and I did all day to day care.
Since I have moved out, she has gone to live with paternal GPs - she has been clear that she doesn't want to see DH - there was some DV and he has severe anger issues.

She is seeing marginally more of her mother (twice a week) - but mum has cancelled many contacts (cancelled this week, last week, and a day the week before that).
When we first split, DSD said she wanted to stay with mum. Mum point blank refused to have her 'I'm workin babes'!

Now, and this is the second time she has said this, DSD has said that she wants to live with me and DS.

At the moment I'm treating this as a confused 8 year old missing her stepmum - but we were really very close and I would love to have her, if it's what she wants.

So, do I have any rights?
I have full care of DS, her half sibling. I've been primary carer for nearly 4 years. She's 8, a mature 8 and it's what she wants. The only real alternative is GPs, or dad but only if he has anger management etc (SS involved due to my leaving from DV).

Does she have a Social worker? If so you could speak to them.

I don't think you have any rights, but you could be seen as the best place for her.

I would speak to her social worker as Mummytime suggested, or maybe her paternal Grandparents if you get on well with them.

Sorry you don't have any rights unless both her parents allow you to have parental responsibility, which I doubt.

They both agreed to me having PR in the past - we just didn't get round to it as it didn't seem necessary and then this all kicked off.

I just find it really sad. I was her parent. Full time. For half her life. She wants to be with me, neither of her parents are able to have her. Surely, SURELY, the right place is with me and her brother?!

I think because you have get brother there is a greater chance for you, plus a neither parent seems to want her full time. Will grandparents back you? Can only suggest getting them on side and seeking legal help. Good luck!

fairy It's not quite as clear cut as that.

A stepparent spouse has the automatic right to apply for a residency order in relation to any "child of the family". You do not need the courts permission to apply. This is one of the few times that marital status makes a difference in law; unmarried step mums have more limited "rights".

Your application for residency would be considered against the same criteria as any other application. The court would be child focused and would consider the status quo and primary carers who have been involved in the DCs life.

If you are awarded sole or shared residency, you automatically acquire parental responsibility.

If you believe this is right for your DSC, then it's well worth the £215 court fee to submit a C100 and start the ball rolling.

I don't have any answers fairy, but I just wanted to say that I've seen your previous threads and I really hope you get to have your DSD live with you. all the very best of luck.

frog not relevant to this thread where DSM is clearly primary carer, but can any stepparent spouse really apply for residency order?

I have no answers to your question but I have read your threads before. I really hope she comes to live with you.

tiredandsad The HMCS Guidance Document CB1 explains who has the right to make various applications to Family Court:

www.familylaw.co.uk/system/uploads/attachments/0000/2078/CB1_1108.pdf

My dsd lives with me and not her mum or dad. She was 16 when she came to me though, so older than your dsd.

I was told by social services that if she had been under 16 she could have lived with me on a private fostering arrangement, and they would have dealt with that and from what they said it wasn't out of the question, and it wasn't that I had no "rights".

I was able to claim tax credits, child benefit and add her to dd's CSA claim.

I too think you need to speak with her social worker. How do you get on with her grandparents?

Hello, Fairy! You sounded so exhausted in your last thread, but here you are, still fighting, you amazing woman!

renter given the circumstances, I'm doing great. Really great.
X

My friend achieved exactly this, it went through the court but almost as a formality I think as it was always very clear that neither biological parent was in any way suitable for a range of reasons. I don't think they came to the hearings.