Consistency

[Letsstopwiththechoccis]

What is consistency? Is consistency just having rules when step mums about or is consistency all the time. What is that term? Disney dad? What does that mean? Does it mean giving in when stepmother not about making stepmother look like an absolute dragon? If so that's what dp is! Disney dad! When I say no to things it's usually after thought and for good reason. I won't however say No and then after dc/dsc moaning continuously, Give in! Am I wrong for this. Dp clearly didn't realise baby monitor on and I heard him being bullied by his 5 yr old daughter! Caught Bonny! Oh but there's no giving in when I'm about, clearly I'm the dragon! Rant over!

Sounds like you need some ground rules in place

Like bridal says - ground rules. The two of you need to compromise and ground rules and you both stick to them - you will end up constantly being the bad guy and DSD will know she can play you off against each other.

We had this problem. DP was the worst of the Disney Dads when we met and he has got so much better and we have seen fabulous results but to start with he would pin the blame on me and as soon as I was out of the way he would give in to their demands. He would take them out before they got home and literally fill them with sweets and then they would gloat to my DC and me about it
I told him he had to stop before they started to resent me. I won't be his bad cop. All the house rules are applicable to all kids all the time whoever they are with.