DP's ex, will he ever go away !

[ShesYourDaughter]

Need to have another rant....

I had to have a rant before about DP's ex still behaving as if they were married, organising dsc activities when they were with us, expecting her to be his friend and counsellor, sending abusive texts when he didn't get his way. The list goes on.

Kids have been on at us to get a dog for ages. We both work, have strong views that the dog shouldn't be treated as a toy or an accessory etc and are well aware of what a tie, as much as a pleasure a dog is. We compromised and got a cat.

Dsc's dad has now bought a puppy, and of course the kids love it. They were told grandma would be looking after the puppy during the day

Bear in mind she has made it clear she wants no contact with him unless its an emergency with the children.

The kids come to us for our week and a day, maybe two days of looking after the dog by himself, the texts start

Puppy's lovely, you should come see it.

Kids just love the puppy, they're besotted.

It's a shame the kids can't see more of the puppy, maybe they could bring it round when they're with you. Just for the evening, or maybe a day or two.

And finally.

Can you look after the puppy while I'm at work, don't think the kids will understand when i tell them their mum won't help look after their dog

Do you think it's genuinely possible to make him go away and leave us alone?

Does it piss your partner off as much as it does you? If so, she need to tell him to stop texting her, or just ignore them every single time and respond only if it's an emergency. Switching the communication to email might help - as there's less expectation of a quick response.

In response to the "can you look after the puppy when I'm at work" - well if your DP works too then the answer is surely no? Or "haven't you got any friends that can do that?" If the DCs are old enough to go round to his to look after it themselves that's a bit different but there's no way that it's your ex's responsibilty to care for your pet.

If your DP is not as bothered by all the texts as you are, then maybe you need to explain to her how it matters to you to have some sense of being left in peace to have your own household, and not that you're living with someone who's still (in a way) feeling she has comitments to someone else.

Can't help but feel a bit sorry for the bloke - wanting so much to have a family with kids all loving the puppy, but in reality living on his own most of the time :( Maybe your DP or the kids should help him find a new GF

Oh he has girlfriends, that's not a problem.

Strangely they're never available to help, but we're supposed to be?

And he sees as much of the kids as we do, week about. We leave him to get on with his week, whatever happens there is his business even if we find out later and don't agree with what heppened. You can't turn the clock back.

DP is just as annoyed, and when she changed phones he had no choice but to email but I don't think he gets the instant gratification of knowing his message has been received as with a text. He soon got the new number off the kids and the random stream of conscious thought started up again.

If there was nothing to the texts we could ignore them. The dog one is a good example of one where he's expecting us to agree with his wishes, the abuse will start when we get to the crunch point where he has to give up something to look after the dog and we haven't agreed to do it.

That's when we worry about what he tells the kids.

And then there are the others which are just odd, it's like a personal Facebook. Where he's been, photos, what mood he's in, and even now reflections on their marriage or worse any problems he's having with a current girlfriend.

The dog one is simple
'Sorry can't help, YOU should have thought of that before YOU got a dog'
Poor puppy

Can she just block his number? Leave the landline for emergencies, and email for everything else?