I'm so glad to have found this board but I really don't know where to start. Being a SP is so hard and while I never expected it to be an easy ride (I'm a step child myself) I didn't expect it to be still like this 7 years in.
My DSC live quite a distance away from us that car/train prices to get them down to us are expensive enough (not their fault.) but it's the expense when they're here that's the problem.
DH expects us to do fun things when they're in our care - big days out, meals out, spending out on presents to go back with (every time!). So much so that when they go back to their Mum's we're often left living on the breadline with our own 3 children.
As soon as they're gone he starts setting money aside for when they're next with us meaning we're constantly struggling. Our DC don't get days out unless the DSC are here as we simply can't afford it - something that they're starting to notice and bring up.
I've tried discussing this with him but he gets all defensive when it's brought up. He has difficulties in communicating with the exW and we've had a whole host of problems with her but still I'm sorry but it's not an excuse.
It's been going on for so long that now it's what the pair expect (they're 9 and 10). He thinks this is the best way to be with them because he only sees them every full school holidays/half terms. It's a lot for every six weeks or so. Summer holidays they're here for half of them so you can imagine how much he plans on spending out.
I have no idea how to deal with this and I feel way out of my depth. Sometimes it feels like he holds the DSC high up on a pedestal while his other 3 are classed as second rate citizens.