Worried about DSD

[MaddestOfTheHatters]

DP has had 50/50 shared care of DSD (2) since she was born. This has worked out fine but for the past couple of weeks.
No problems normally when she is with us as she has a very strong bond with DP. However the past few nap times she has been hysterical wanting reassurance. (I want my Daddy, Mummy, Nana, Maddest etc.) Normally a very good sleeper, but we just got rid of the dummy. Night time sleeping is fine it's just her nap. She is in a fixed routine at all three homes normally but this has faced disruption over Christmas.

So as not to drip feed. DSD's mum often leaves DSD with her own mother, for at least 3 nights a fortnight so she can have a break (whole other issue). So in a fortnight DSD is spending 7 with us, 4 with Mum and 3 with GP.

In case it's relevant DP and I have been together since before DSD was born (not the OW) so DSD and I also have a very close bond.

Can't decide if:
-typical toddler tantrum (so we shouldn't pander to it)
-DSD is just becoming aware that she is being passed from pillar to post and hating it (so we need to give her reassurance)
-she wants her dummy again (she only every had it for sleeping anyway)

We are totally at sea here so any advice very welcome!

That was rather long sorry.

Does she actually need the nap?

Just an idea but I'm thinking perhaps she isn't tired and doesn't need a nap (or doesn't need one at the time she is being out down to nap) and she is protesting and making excuses not to sleep rather than needing reassurance?

Does she have a nap at her mums/nans? It could be she's having different routines at each home and it's confusing her or getting her out of her usual pattern.

She has always had a mid afternoon nap after lunch. Lunch, quiet time with stories then sleep. It's the same at all three homes. As far as we can see she is tired, yawning and rubbing her eyes.

May give it a go without a nap though to see if this improves. She does sleep a good twelve hours if not more at night so you may be right in saying she's getting enough rest!

I agree it might just be she doesn't want or need the nap now, esp if she's getting around 12hrs at night. Think my ds started dropping the occasional nap around that age, but not all (maybe every-other day).

Maybe try just cuddling up on the sofa in front of the tv for half an hour to recharge her batteries instead of having the nap battle.

Thank you. I think if we stick to the story time so she has the rest, but give it a try without the nap she might be happier. Will have to trial it and see. Changes in routine are a big deal when there's three houses and limited communication!

I do feel for you, must be confusing for her, although I think kids are extremely adaptable. My ds from 11months went to nursery two days a week, my sister's for one, and my in-laws for the other. They all had slightly different routines when it came to meal and nap times, and he was absolutely fine (3yrs old now). Although obviously he slept at home every night, so perhaps that's different with your DSD.

Sounds like you're a great Step-Mum btw

Thank you slinky, it's hard to believe that when she's so upset!
She is very adaptable normally but I think Christmas has shaken her up a bit.

Starting to think she doesn't need the dreaded nap after all. Will update on Sunday as DSD spends Saturday daytime with her Mum.

Thank you for all your advice

Fingers crossed it is just being out of routine with Christmas then, I used to love my quiet afternoons whilst DS napped!

Well we skipped the nap today and all has gone ok thus far. Though today had a total brainwave moment and was found to be on the nose...DSD is afraid of the dark! Having been one of those babies that needed total darkness to get ANY sleep we have been caught unawares here.

One nap skipped. Plugged in two nightlights. Made a whole parade about it so she knows where they are and hey presto! A happy sleeping toddler.

Thank you for all the advice - will have to come out from the shadows of lingering more often!

Thanks for the update, glad to hear you've had a good day!

I dunno, these small people; change the goal posts every five minutes it seems