Having two children

[sparklesparkle]

Hello,
I have a DD (2) with DP. We also have DSD1 (16) and DSS (11). They live in another city and we don't see them very often (though regularly).
I am wondering whether to try for another baby -- I would like one and so would DP but also I am v. happy with just our DD. I am undecided.
My question to you mumsnetters is whether, if you had just one DC with your parter but have other step children whether your child has felt they really have siblings or have felt more like an only child.
I want DD to have a real sibling experience, especially when she's a bit older. If I didn't have another would she feel like one of three or alone? The Dsteps are being brought up very differently to how we will bring up DD.
I'd love to hear of other experiences.

through what uv said ur dd will probobly grow up feeling as an only child.
my 3 ds's hav 3 older half siblings, dont see them that often, my 5 year and and 9 year old said to me the other day they only had one sister (my dd who lives with us) and half sister was actually dads sister!
they just dont see them enough, no bond there which is a massive shame.

Hi Sparkle, my DH has a DD from a previous relationship and I'm currently pregnant with our first baby together. I would really like to have another child after this one as DSD will be 16 when the baby is born so I can't imagine them having a really close sibling relationship (even tho I know she will dote on her baby brother, they're virtually a generation apart!). DSD also doesn't live with us so there wont be that everyday sibling relationship between them.

Sorry for the waffle but I get what your saying; if we dont have another child, the baby won't have a full biological sibling; that doesn't bother me at all but on a practical level, I would like him to have another sibling in the household full time.

Just being realistic here, with the geographic separation and age difference of 9 and 14 years between your DSCs and your DD, how could she feel any sibling experience?

By the time she is into primary school years, they will be working. So if you want her not to feel like an only child, then having a second baby is a good way forward.

I think you are very sensible to be thinking about this issue. DP has older teens whom we see fairly regularly and we have 1 DD who is 6. We hadn't planned on having more children. I am having second thoughts a little now though. Unfortunately DP is not totally on board at the moment so nothing may happen although he does acknowledge that he will be surprised if there is a close sibling relationship between the DC in the future.

With the DSC it is simply a case of out of sight, out of mind with DD. They do love her, they are delighted to see her and she them. But it feels very much like a visit by friends rather than siblings. I guess when siblings are in a household together full time they will often build a strong relationship through small acts, gestures etc on a day to day basis.

On a different note, we are also enjoying the experience of having one DC in the house some of the time. DD on her own is so portable, we've been able to do lots of lovely spontaneous things and are very close. Holidaying with just one DC is very different to holidaying with three. Both enjoyable but different. I am trying to build up a network of friends for her through groups/clubs etc in case we decide not to have any more children.

I have 3 half siblings who I grew up with in the same household and also a half brother who lived with his mum. I'd never consider my 3 siblings to be half. They're simply my sisters and brother. I do consider mybrother from my dad's side to be a half sibling though as we wasnt brought up together.

I don't think your child will have the full sibling experience with your dsc however if they're all she has she will probably think the world of them and form a close bond with them herself as she gets older.

I have one sibling who I have the same parents as. The other 8 do not.

I have 3 who I share same dad with and 5 I share the same mum with.

I don't count the ones who share the same mum as halves. I grew up with them so don't see that. The halves are the ones I didn't know about and then don't speak to really.

Even if that one sibling was also an half it wouldn't have made a difference to me.

We have had 2 for the very same reason, unfortunately you cannot force nr sibs to be close.

Dp and I have DS (8 months) and dp has dd (5yrs) feel the same as a lot of you and I definitely want another dc once baby boy a bit bigger, yeah he has a half sister but she rarely even refers to him as her brother as not in his company that much and we will never get her on Xmas day either and I want DS to be able to have the full sibling experience also xx

very useful everyone thanks x