Regular poster who has name changed for this.
Background
I met DH when 8 years ago and he had twin boys who are now 10.
Their mum left them when the twins were babies. Their mum sees them once a year for half a day. She usually texts DH towards the end of the year asking for contact during a certain weekend. She lives somewhere in Europe and she changes her phone number continuously and doesn't tell us so we can't get in contact with her during the year. Me and DH have 2 other DCs together and DSSs also refer to me as mummy.
She won't let me have any rights over DSSs and she doesn't pay for them.
So she texted yesterday saying that she won't come and see them this year because she is 4 months pregnant and she doesn't fancy the plane ride so she won't be seeing them this year and she will see how she feels next year but she will have a baby so she isn't sure.
Neither me or DH have any idea what to say to the boys. They are old enough so we can explain exactly why but they will be upset and it will be harder for them to understand why their mum wants to look after a new baby but not them. They are already asking if she has text asking to see them. I feel awful for them, they are so lovely and it is always hard for them after they have seen her and she leaves again and they don't get to see her for another year.
I am wondering if anyone has any sort of experience or advice to offer please