dps done it all before

[flowerpotgirl12]

not sure if this is the right place but...

feeling very sad at moment, my dp has 2 dcs 8&12, , I'm currently pregnant with first and feeling quite alone in this pregnancy. tonight dp announces that he doesn't want to go to antenatal classes as he has done all that, , explained he may have but I haven't and i will be doing the hardpart. I have also been getting excited about buying clothes, setting up baby stuff and all I get back is how hard the first few months are etc. it feels like I can't really enjoy the exciting prep part of pregnancy as he's been there and done it.

has anyone else experienced this? does it get better when baby arrives?

Can you sit down with him and explain how he's making you feel. Tell him that you know he's done it before but for you it's new and exiting and it would make you happy if he stopped being dismissive (not sure that's the right word) about it all and made an effort for your sake.

It certainly wouldn't do him any harm to stop reminding you that he's done it before. I suspect he's just being thoughtless atm and just needs a reminder that this is your first time.

Mmm, I am not sure that it means anything that he doesn't want to come to anti natal classes. My DH never came to any and he hadn't any other kids. I think a lot of men would look for reasons not to go. . The same can be said about buying stuff for the baby, my perfectly lovely DH was NEVER interested in any of the 'nesting' side of things.

Your DH can't change the past, he HAS had kids before and I don't think making him feel awkward about it is fair. He WILL love your joint DC every bit as much as his other DC. His love won't be divided it will be multiplied IYSWIM I think that it would be better if you could get yourself in a frame of mind to embrace the fact he has had other kids.
It would be very sad if he felt you resented it.

I still think you should let him know that you want him to be considerate towards you.

Good luck.

My dp was the same, I took my mum to the classes in the end rather than force him. However every birth is different so the experience he has with you, will be a first.

It was also quite comforting in the early days having him there, with more experience than me. Although I did have to tell him to stop saying 'well I have had x number of children'!

My sc and ds all love each other so much, I love that they have such a strong bond, try and embrace it.

My dp loves our ds so much and as he is now older and has more experience, he appreciates it even more.

For what its worth, there were no dads at our antenatal classes (
though not sure what the norm is). You need to have a talk and explain how you feel and that you need him to be more upbeat and supportive.

For what its worth, as soon as the baby is here it will be a completely new experience for him. More so than with his second DC as he is parenting with you now.
Every baby is completely different too so if he had a hard time with his other 2 you may have an easy baby this time which he should enjoy more! (as much as I love DS his first year would have been far more enjoyable if he had slept for more than 2 hours at a time or let anybody else hold him!)
It sounds like he's a bit anxious about it being hard to start with from the comment about the first few months.