Am i over reacting?

[Wednesdaywine]

I live with my dp and two dd from a previous relationship. The past few weeks ive noticed tension between my eldest (11 years old) and my dp. My eldest has had a tough past few years, her relationship with her dad isnt good due to EA. Last night she was watching tv and laughing and i said listen to the laughing and my dp said "it sounds fake". This has really pissed me off, why would an 11 yo fake laugh at the tv. Im really mad at him, am i over reacting?

I think it is mean and uncalled for. She hadnt done anything wrong, i know i am very protective of her but to me there was no need. He doesnt think he has done anything wrong!

Why did you draw his attention to it in the first place? Seems an odd thing to do - are you all walking on eggshells for some reason?

She had originally wanted to watch something else on tv and we didnt so she went to watch tv in her room. She was laughing and it was really good to hear her be happy, i passed comment and wadnt expecting for him to refer to her laughing as fake. Im very pissed off at him it was not true and wonder why he would say that?

Draw attention to it? There is nothing better than a child laughing .

op I think it's mean and unhealthy. Living with a step mother who hated me as an eight year old till I left home at sixteen was awful and very damaging.

It needs sorting immediately. Your dd will be very aware do feels this way.

dp

He said it because that's all he sees of her.

That is what i was starting to think too, that there was an underlying reason to his comment. She had a difficult year, combined with moods starting to kick in so to hear her laughing was lovely. Will have it out with him, i wont stand for it. Thank you all for replying

He's being a bit rude. I would guess he has a problem with her. Is she moody? Does she misbehave? If neither of these, he may be projecting in some way how he expects her to feel about him being a step dad.

Is he happy that he is a stepdad or does he resent the children? How does he get on with the younger one?

I'd ask some questions as after all he is an adult and she is a child.

Your instinct is telling you that this isn't right, don't let him bluff his way out of it .

She isnt naughty but can be moody. I have put this down to her being a sensitive child and her age. He always said he would treat my dcs like his own and he has a good relationship with my youngest. Im just not sure about my eldest

Have you asked them both separately how they feel the other one behaves?

You might find a common ground (she's rude/he's judgmental, he dislikes me/she doesn't respect me etc).

How long has dp been in your life's op?

Does she still see her df?

Hi there,

I'm a SM and just wanted to throw another perspective into the mix. I'm not saying it's right or rational, but us SPs sometimes just get annoyed about a little thing and we say something silly. It doesn't mean anything terrible or bad. It just means we're having an off moment or evening.

OP, by all means talk to your DP and see what he says. But start gently, as it could just have been him having an off evening.

Hope you get things sorted.

Thank you for your replies, will have a conversation with him when my head is a bit clearer