Anyone else with DSC and not their own?

[purpleroses]

My own kids have gone away today with their dad for 6 nights, to visit his family. I miss them badly when they're away for this long. The DSC - 4 of them - have been here a week and will be with us for 5 more nights. Nobody's been out of the house for the last 48 hours, and I feel cooped up and stressed with the kids. The younger two mainly - aged 10 and 13 - are competing for DP's attention with baby voices and acting like 4 year olds which DP seem oblivious to, but winds me up.

The kids are completely apathetic about going anywhere out the house, and instead they and DP want to watch a sting of rubbish movies which I don't like. Although I've lived with them for 18 months, I feel like a spare part in his family right now and really wish I could just be with my own kids :(

How am I going to get though the next 5 days?

Same here, cheers
Ds going to visit his dad over NY for a few days, dsc will be here, doing exactly the same. It has always been them selecting (a) films from their childhood when the parents were still together (b) films from the times they visited dad only (c) films they know dad loves and I hate... Or any other activity where they can stress how separate I am from them.
Yes,they're kids and I should not be so pathetic after 4 yrs.... So,
I have decided to start my own crafts project and ignore their ignoring me!

Yes, my dcs went to their dad at midday on Christmas day, coming home tomorrow night and I can't wait! DP had had dss since about midday Christmas day, he goes home tomorrow for the day but is back on sat. Hard, but I've taken the opportunity for a few drinks while DP has to drive and I have no dcs to man lol! X

Thanks, might go for the .
I don't think they're deliberately selecting films to try and make me feel left out - they just share DP's taste for crappy action movies. That sounds all the harder if yours are doing it to try to exclude you. But Christmas does bring up a lot of reminisces EG -
DSS1 - "Why is the Christmas tree in here - we always have it in the other room?"
DP - "no, we moved in last year because it doesn't fit there any more"
DSS2 (to me, crossly) - "we used" to have it in there until you* moved in and changed everything around"

Crafts projects sound an idea - what are you making?

Purple, my dsc went back to mums at lunchtime today after being here all but 24 hours for the last week and my ds has gone to his dads for 10 days.

I'm pretty annoyed at dp who said he cried this morning because he won't see his kids for 4 days before they're back again.

I've been being really positive about us spending a few days together child free before his kids come back again. I've never had my ds away for more than a week before and i will miss him a lot but I've managed to be happy for him and for dp and myself.

I feel dp doesn't share that positivity and it's upset me. I've not stopped for the last week and not had a moment to myself. It's bloody hard work having a houseful of kids, as well as mainly his friends and family too.

I know that sometimes you just want to do what you want to do in your own home. Can you retreat to your bedroom or get yourself out to your family and friends? That's what I intend to do when dsc come back in a few days time.

I'm in the same boat until Saturday when my dc come back.

I have got a new telly for the bedroom and have been watching all the tv I recorded yesterday while DP and his dc have been watching their crap films down in the lounge.
I'm on my third glass of and am currently sitting downstairs eating chocolate while DP is trying to get the DSC to bed chuckling to myself that tonight it's not me doing the bedtime routine!
I am actually happy to be going into work tomorrow though - I need to get out!

Redhen - I will have to put up with DPs doe eyed misery when they go home on new years day while I will be secretly elated that I've got my house back!!

Redhen - we have 2 days and 1night together with no kids and I'm completely looking forward to them
But I am aware that if I say how much I'm missing mine it will put a damper on things for DP who's happy to have another 5 days at home with his kids first.

I think it's one of those times you have to ride it out and remember all the good times you have with your own kids. I don't think its wrong to admit you're missing your kids when dsc are there, as long as you don't "punish" dp or dsc for it. I think it can be easy to get resentful.

I think it's different if you both get some precious time without kids and then you keep mentioning how much you're missing them.

I'm just upset that after 5 months without any time to ourselves, dp has managed to make me feel some time to ourselves is unimportant.

That's sad redhen - we, like you, get very little time to ourselves. I'd be really pissed off at my DP too if he sounded like that wasn't something to be cherished.

I'm feeling a bit more on top of things today - DSC have got into a late bedtime routine over the holidays which means they're up as late as we are, which I really dislike. But the upside is that they are all lying in every morning, so I get to enjoy the house to myself for a bit right now.

Re craft project, I'm making a quilt.
... And as dh has just offered to do more cooking, I have welcomed the opportunity and said he should make all those meals the dsc were used to before me!
It will do them all good to see what they're missing when I don't stick my oar in withdraw a bit!
Am also greatly relieved that I'm not that bad for missing own ds when dsc are here. Will encourage them to do lots of outings too, cinema etc. They're mum and dad are actually quite stingy, although financially way better off than me.
And if the dsc don't see a difference when I am there pushing for healthy slap up meals or child/ teen centred activities then I will happily stay in the background forthwith
Sorry for all those with dh who make you feel bad about kiddie free weekends. My dh was like that for a long time, couple therapy helped him see the negative impact on our relationship and this has changed for the better.
More anyone?

I have a bad cold so my DP is cooking today too Lovein He says he will make a turkey pie. I don't think he's ever made a pie before....
But I'm not holding out much hope for the DSC to start missing my superiour cooking when I'm off-duty. I think I lost hope of that when DSS complained that my bolonaise sauce didn't have any "yummy lumpy bits" in it

"Lumpy bits"! Love it.
I'm not really saying my cooking is superior (probably because of all the lumpy bits..) but I make an effort, if only to show that I think they're special and deserve a bit of special attention. I nearly sobbed when I was told today that dss got bread and cold meats for his 13th birthday dinner at his mums, who wanted him specially that evening in his dads week. He was mightily pissed that ds got pizza that evening, which I had ordered for him as he'd not been invited (I realize of course there was no need for dsc mum to invite him, but the dsc always celebrate anything with us, we move celebrations to include them, so I felt sorry for ds... Didn't realize I'd feel more sorry for dss!

I've been here in France since the 18th December - all my family are in the UK and I don't speak French very well at all... We've had DP's kids the entire Christmas and will continue to have them until they return to school on 6th Jan as their French mum has gone on holiday and tbh isn't seemingly that fussed to have them back when she returns this weekend (they have been almost exclusively raised by au pairs most of their lives). I've found it hard being away from my family (my adult kids, my sisters, my mum, and my granddaughter) and also dealing 24/7 with two small-ish children (plus their French friends on occasion) and my DP's exW's parents and siblings plus their spouses - we spent a lot of Christmas day with them ('because they are the boys' grandparents...' which I do understand!) and they refuse to speak any English to me, even though they do speak a good amount apparently!

I do love my DP's family but it hasn't been a walk in the park this year. I'm hoping that next year will be easier now I've got over this first year of feeling quite isolated!