It's the little things

[Libby10]

Does anyone else find that its the small, really petty things that get under your skin. Today in the post DP had a card from his ex. Message inside was just for him and signed from her and her BF. She doesn't usually send a card but whenever she has it is always to DP and never to the both of us. I would like to be able to rise above it but it really annoys me every single time.

Just rise above it.why do you need her acknowledgement.just grit ylur teeth nd say o how lovely.:-)

^ good plan

Thanks - I know you are all right and I need to rise above it. It's just that now all the SC are at university I don't understand why she can't just let us be.

I meant Natasha had a good plan, that would irritate me too but I suppose the right thing to do is rise above it

Yep - its the little niggles!!!
DPs sister sent a card to "DP, Kaluki, DSD and DSS" - no mention of my kids at all. I suppose they just don't exist, even though she only saw them at the weekend!
Silly cow.

Hi Libby, I have a theory that Christmas is designed as an opportunity to bring out the worst in people. Yes it is definitely the little niggly things ... do people do it deliberately, I wonder or are they just totally rude and ignorant of social etiquette or both

Good advice here to rise above it, the person isnt worth bothering about!

For the 6 years of our relationship DPs cousin sends a Christmas card to DP and DSS - despite us always putting our 3 names* on it. Like I don't exist! Id be embarrassed to behave like that but rudeness knows no bounds for some people. We moved in together earlier in the year, so We'll send them a card with our new address on and announcing that daisychain, DP and DSS have moved to .... Then if she ignores me next year (but still uses our new address) She will confirm she is rude and ignorant

Have a lovely Christmas, which is the best form of (non-aggressive) revenge!

I think I'd quite like it if my husband's ex-wife sent him a card. She doesn't talk to him ever. Some sort of once a year acknowledgement that she had married him and that they had two children together would strike me as mature and civilised...

I agree my sil gives me my dps exw present ro give to my dsc to take home, I don't even get a card! I don't expect a present but surely rubbing my face in the fact she is closer to ex is just rude.

Isnt it vile how people use something as innocuous as a greetings card to give passive aggressive messages. they must spend all year planning it for maximum impact

For me it stops being mature and civilised when an ex partner refuses to acknowledge the existence of a new partner. I think it is the passive aggressiveness that gets under my skin but will just ignore it.

Libby10 - I know new partner exists but do not have to have anything to do with her. That is mature and civilised - she was a friend, she lied, still lies, screwed around during my parents funeral with constant texting, refuses to speak to our DCs when in her house etc etc etc etc

I have nothing good to say to her, so keep my mouth shut.