My daughters don't like my new partner!

9 replies

My7angels · 28/10/2013 22:21

My ex husband and I have been divorced for 5 years now and during that time I haven't had a serious relationship, but now me and my partner of 6 months have started talking about having children and getting married. I have 7 daughters with my ex aged 23, 21, 18, 16, 13, 11 and 9 and none of them like him! They used to get along great until they found out we want to get married. I'm not sure what to do because I really love my partner but I have to put my daughters first. I think they think I am trying to replace their dad, which I'm not, but has anyone else had to deal with this before? And what should I do? Thanks

OP posts:

elliebellys · 28/10/2013 22:57

Hi 7 angels,how long have they known him for nd do you actually live together.6 months isnt very long,maybe the girls think you might be rushing into things.

NotYoMomma · 28/10/2013 23:17

if it has only been 6 months

and ALL 7 daughters didnt like him I woukd be backing off a bit tbh and slowing down. ask them about it frankly.

JumpingJackSprat · 28/10/2013 23:27

6 months is no time at all especially for the younger girls. Talk to them all one on one to find out what they really think.

lunar1 · 29/10/2013 06:50

7 people don't like him, I would tak a step back and try looking at him without the rose tinted glasses.

runawaysimba · 29/10/2013 06:57

Do they know you're talking about having kids? There are all sorts of reasons they could be unhappy about that.

missymarmite · 29/10/2013 07:27

From what you are saying it just sounds like a reaction to you talking about marriage. Just slow down. Give it time. Perhaps they just think you are rushing things and they aren't ready.

Cutteduppumpkin · 29/10/2013 07:31

Talk to them and find out what they are thinking rather than making assuptions.

It might just be that they want you to slow down. 6 months is quite early to be introducing a partner to your children, without the marriage and kids talk.

CountryGal13 · 29/10/2013 20:49

If it was up to my husband's teenagers then we wouldn't have moved in together, married or had our daughter. It's not that we don't get on but it's natural for children to feel insecure when their parents move on in a relationship so they I'm sure that they would have preferred if their dad had stayed single and given all his time to them.
I certainly don't think that the fact the girls don't like him (now you've mentioned marriage ect) means that he's a bad person and you shouldn't be with him. That's ludicrous and you deserve to be happy!
I do agree that 6 months is pretty fast though and if you've suddenly dropped the whole marriage and baby thing on your girls then you've probably scared them half to death.
I think you need to speak to your children alone and ask them why they feel the way they do about him. Let them know how happy he makes you and maybe agree to slow down a bit while everyone gets to know eachother and so that you can get a better idea of whether this relationship will work in the long run.
I really hope that things work out for you! It sounds very positive that the girls liked him before. May be if you all spend some time together then they'll warm to him again.
Keep us updated!

Kaluki · 01/11/2013 10:59

7 kids - and you still want more!! Wow
Seriously why don't they like him? Have they got good reasons or is it jealousy?
I think talking about marriage and children after just 6 months when you have been on your own with them for 5 years might make them feel rushed.
Take it slower, let them get used to one new idea at a time and in sure they will come round.

Flip