Feeling constantly stressed

[FedupofTurkey]

By the lack of manners, not doing what is asked/told. Dp just laughing stuff off. Aargh .... I need to detach for my own health, please help

Hi. I don't have much advice to give but wanted to let you know that there was someone else here feeling exactly the same way. I am just trying to relax and not take any of it personally but it is very hard sometimes! Really hope your day improves.

Being a step parent is amazingly hard work and incredibly stressful. I have had more sleepless nights over my step parenting role than any other thing.

I know exactly how you feel. I had this with my DSD. I spoke to my DP about by focusing on her, rather than his parenting eg 'I worry about DSD, what if she carries on like this? She is so lovely but no one will want to be friends with her if she carries on being so rude' etc. I also remind them both, eg if she asks for something without saying please I will say 'oops! What did you forget?!' In a nice upbeat way of course! As well as lots of positive reinforcement, when she does behave well 'that was so polite DSD, what lovely manners!'

I think this helps me feel like the problem is being addressed without getting too involved. I stay right out of the big arguments and paddies unless DP specifically asks or mentions it.

Hope that helps, it's not easy but you'll find what works for you!

I think it helps if you and your partner have similar ideas about what is and isn't acceptable behaviour. You should at least be able to talk about this one. 'Laughing it off' does not sound great...

Argh DSSs don't do as they're told by DP either. It drives me mad- he may as well just not bother as he'll ask them to do something and it will be ignored 10 times before he'll just give up.

Tonight it was "No, don't start watching a film now (10pm) it's too late" - well that was an hour ago and he's given up trying to coax them to bed and they're all in there watching the darn film. They're going to be up well past midnight and then he wonders why they're tetchy the next day...

I've had to learn to let it all go over my head and not let it get to me, as grating as it is. It makes me think less of DP sometimes though, I just want to yell at him to stop being such a push over- its not going to do him any favours in the long run. He chooses to ignore the bad manners too, I think he thinks its easier than addressing the behaviour and potential tantrums.

Thanks Red/alyss/Frau/wilde.

We've had an awful few days. Weather bad so kids have been stuck. Dp and I have nearly split up as he thinks I don't like his dss after dealing with an incident - i say its the behaviour not the dss. Dp says he wants me to parent but i don't see how i can when he thinks i dislike dss. So somehow if we're to survive as a couple i 've got to not get involved with the bad behaviour and leave it to dp to either ignore or deal with :(