i just can't do it!

[fubar74]

I really can't do this step-parenting thing, I was a singlemum for over 12 years and being dumped in the middle of being a full-time SP without any say in things without being cvlassed as a 'bad' person I'm afraid I just can't do this :(

*sorry for the spelling I hate using my tablet!

I couldn't do it and had to walk away.

I'm not saying that you will have to do the same, I'm just saying that it happens.

Have you spoken to your OH about what issues you feel you need to have a say in?

My friend gave me wonderful advice in that she told me to look at each situation as a 'parenting' issue vs. a 'lady of the house' issue. When it's a parenting issue, I'll defer (usually ) to DH, but when it's a lady of the house issue, I speak right up. I have a right to know who is in my house this weekend, when plans we have set in stone are being changed, who's eating at home tonight, etc.

It really helped me let go of the things that the parents should handle and what issues I as an adult in my home have a right to chime in on.

Thats it, SS came in threw his weight around, evil in his eyes squaring up to me so I end up throwing him out and telling his dad to get home and sort him out. All his stuff is packed up in the middle of the living room and if his dad has to go too then so be it, had enough! and guess who I blame? not SS, his dad for burying his head in the sand and allowing life to become 'unbearable'.

Just thought I would update you lovely people before I sign out as I am no longer a Step-Parent! Good luck to everyone x

Sorry it turned out that way for you furbar.

fubar.
Hope you are OK.

Good luck fubar, remember, you don't need to be a sp to post hear if you need to chat

plus a big . I hope everything works out ok for you.

Thank you everyone for your kind words, my marriage very nearly slipped into the abyss, but it seems that we have managed to salvage it somewhat although we are both sliding into depression. SS has gone to stay with other family but this is causing problems too as his brother's GF decided she would tell my DH he was deluded and had his priorities wrong for not leaving me to set up home with his near 17 year old son, her and DH's brother were fighting as he didn't want to get involved so SS went to stay with another brother... how long his family (my family) can deal with this I don't know its got everyone at each others throats :(

What an awful situation. Really hope that things improve for you really soon! Please keep us updated x

Fubar well done for standing up to DSS and not letting him dictate how you live in your own home.

Whatever your h chooses to do now is up to him, but not allowing his DS to treat you like shit is good parenting from him, so I hope he doesn't feel guilty for staying with you and forcing DS to live elsewhere for now.

I hope you can all find a way to get on better in future.

Me and DH have made our peace, obviously there are broken relationships within the family but that's what happens when you let a 16 year old live the way they want and not the way they should. DH does feel reasonably responsible for what has happened and I have told him his son isn't barred from the house but he is to come here as a guest and have the appropriate level of respect when he is here and that is only to happen when with his dad.

I still think that they are 'protecting' him by not making him responsible also, his attitude is like a lot of youngsters these days, believe everyone owes them something, and they can get away with anything and
everything as long as they put it down to some kind of problem they have!

xx