Adult step daughter -grr .

[pinkpjs]

She's a pain . I began the relationship with dh , when she was 11 . She's now 21 married , and a mother to 2 herself .
To begin with she was pleasant child , apart from usual naughtiness you'd expect from teenager. Nothing out the ordinary , just usual , little bit of cheekiness , little it of rebellion ( staying out past time to come in ect ) . Like i said usual stuff. Until I dh and I decided on adding to our family.

When I became pregnant , she became a nightmare . And has stayed that way . She even banned me and her half siblings from her wedding.

To cut a long story short . Dh will always love his dd , as he should , even if he doesn't like her behaviour at times. He does not want to fall out with her , or risk missing out on his grandchildren .

The grandchildren have been kept away from me and my dc also . Shame , but I accept that and am not going to cause a fuss over something I can't change.

However adult step daughter has developed a very odd habit of phoning Dh at inappropriate times , first thing in morning , last thing at night , during films were watching , and generally at times when she knows via Facebook that we are doing something .

This morning it was 5 past 8 , to tell dh she had been to see a psychic . Apparently the psychic told her that Dh will phone her to appologise for something in the near future ... Why did she feel the need to share that when we are in the middle of getting everyone up and out to school and work ? Could it not have waited until after work tonight when he's got time to speak to her .

I am truly the "wicked stepmother " today .... After he tried a few times to get off the phone nicely without upsetting her , I started making "sex noises " in the background .

So I think the psychic might have been right after all ...Dh will need to phone her later to appologise for the " sex noises " .

Hopefully it will make her chose the timing of her phone calls a bit more carefully ! .

Stop going on about "sex noises". Focus on what has driven this woman (who has provided a step parenting role for many, many years) to behave in an immature and desperate fashion.

OP has been ostracised, her children (the dsd's siblings) ignored. OP is not allowed contact with the grandchildren. Her crime? Existing. Her child, existing. I think OP has hit the nail on the head when she writes that the only way to "please" dsd would be to leave. Disappear and make like she doesn't exist and their son was never born. Nice.

I can totally empathise with you, OP. I met dsd when she was 11. Her mother's affair ended the marriage with her dad. I came along years later and we went out for 4 yrs before before moving in and marrying. Of my dh's 3 kids, the youngest daughter was treated with kid gloves because she was little, 13 (by this time) and many, many allowances were made. She didn't like me (the others did) and she wouldn't look at me or speak directly to me for about a year. We were patient. It NEVER improved. She objected to me and to the son I brought with me. I haven't seen her now for over 2 years. Her dad keeps in touch and encourages her to come over but she will only do this, if I'm not here. Last Xmas, I went out on Christmas Eve so that she could come and the 4 of them could enjoy a nice meal. Dh mentioned my name once and she walked out.

I think OP, when you say your sd is an "incurable attention seeker" you are probably right. I know, had dh's and I had a child, she would NEVER have spoken to her dad again. Divorce is hard on kids, I know but Chinacups is correct in saying that step parents have to put up with horrendous behaviour and not only overlook it but keep going back for more, where bio parents living together would "sort it" in suitable fashion. My own mum would have told me, in no uncertain terms, that bad behaviour would not be acceptable. She'd be right, too. If my own son behaved with his step mother, the my SD did with me, I'd have been utterly ashamed of him.

Excellent post Eliza.

Oh, and one more thing, if every time you walk past a dog, you kick it, the dog will try its best to avoid you/cower away. Eventually though, the dog will bite you. An odd analogy I know, but my sd behaved abysmally toward me. One day, I bit back. Her dad supported me, and that's why she will have nothing to do with him (limited contact) or me.

What she doesn't realise is that where in the past I have been put aside at important events so as not to upset sd and her mum (by my very existence) dh has made it very clear that we are a couple and he expects us to be invited as such or not at all. We will see....

Oh hello, Petal! waves

OP, just seen your update....fingers crossed!